Lord Knows I Can't Change
by hollow-ambitions
Summary: The past is a scar that does not fade with time. Yesterdays are memories that forever linger in your mind. You can not always trust what your eyes see, because who are they for you to believe? A sequel to the first movie, set two years later. Sequel up!
1. Painful Memories

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

            The Black Pearl sailed gracefully atop the indolent crystal blue water. Beautiful water really, a breath taking blue so clear and so pure that you could easily see fairly down a ways. Even in storms it remained that same color, that same crystal blue that you could always so easily get mesmerized by. Same went with the sky. Bright, cheery blues mixing with wisps of fluffy white. The sun, the powerful monarch of the brilliant work overhead, shone proudly; casting golden rays along the crystal sea, highlighting it and making it sparkle. 

It was a gorgeous sight to say the least.

Or it would have been, had its beautifully done disguise not brought back so many memories. _Painful_ memories. 

Memories that were futile to try to forget.

            These weren't the kind of memories that made you smile or that made you laugh, these made you cry, made you fall to your knees and literally crave defeat. They drained you from the inside out, taking a little piece of both your soul and your sanity each time they set foot in your mind. Sometimes, you pushed them out, burying more pain deep within… -Other times, _most times, you welcomed these memories with open arms and a smile. They reminded you that you were still alive, that you weren't numb, that you hadn't died._

That you could still feel pain. 

He didn't need thoughts of days gone by to assure him that he could still feel pain, though. 

            The Black Pearl continued forward. She glided through the water with the grace of a dancer, but with the past of a lonely forgotten soul. 

That lonely forgotten soul stood behind her wheel, gently steering her, trying to ignore the stinging pain in his heart and the lump in his throat. Damn those memories.

*** * ***

            _Gibbs smiled at his long-time companion, having not seen the man for more than a few years. "Well I'll be damned- Jack Sparrow, ye old sea dawg!" He stood to his feet, a tankard of rum held securely in his left hand as he scurried over to the pirate captain. Jack Sparrow smiled slyly and held two slender fingers up in front of his face, narrowing his eyes at Gibbs._

_            "**Captain," he corrected, lowering his hands. "**Captain** Jack Sparrow, savvy?" Gibbs did nothing but grin in a mixture of delight and amusement. "Being that you left that rather important part out of me name, I think it'd be rather kind of you to buy me a drink." He smiled, motioning to the bar with one hand, while pointing at Gibbs with the other. He nodded and walked to the bar, Jack following close behind and sitting on a vacant stool beside his.**_

_            "What do you want, mate?" Gibbs set his tankard of rum back down on the worn wooden counter top. He looked back up at Jack's kohl rimmed eyes and waited. The pirate captain pressed his hands together in obvious thought._

_            "A grog," he answered finally, smiling. Gibbs nodded and motioned for the man behind the bar and relayed to him Jack's choice. The man went about making it, while Gibbs turned back at Jack, looking at him curiously._

_            "I've heard rumors about ye," he said slowly, and Jack raised an eyebrow in confusion. _

_            "Have you now?" The man behind the bar handed Jack a pint of grog and he eagerly took it, taking a long drink before setting it down and looking back at Gibbs. "Like what?"_

_            "That you were dead -or left **to** die rather." Jack watched Gibbs drain the remaining drops of his rum and yell at the man behind the bar for another. He raised an eyebrow suspiciously, once again pressing his hands together and grinning smugly. _

_            "Murdered how, mate?" _

_            Gibbs wrapped his dirt-smudged fingers around the newly filled tankard that was placed in front of him. "That you were marooned," he answered, looking at Jack, who continued to do nothing but grin. "By Barbossa and the rest of the Black __Pearl__'s crew… -Were you?" Jack broke his hands apart and reached for his grog._

_            "Aye," he answered, pausing momentarily to take a drink from the tankard. "Aye," he repeated, "I was." Gibbs knitted his eyebrows together in apparent confusion._

_            "How the blazes did you escape?" Jack smirked into the tankard and lowered it back down to the worn wooden counter top with a small smile and an odd gleam to his eyes._

_            "Let's not worry 'bout that, mate." He answered simply, and Gibbs merely shrugged. Jack all of a sudden had the urge to look around, searching for the one person he hadn't seen, the one person who had cared for him as a father would a son; being that his real father never had. Frowning in annoyance when he didn't see who he was looking for, he rested his gaze on Gibbs, one eyebrow raised._

_            "Mate," he sighed, "where's ole' Bootstrap?" The expression on Gibbs' face startled him. "What?..." He asked cautiously, slowly. Fear bubbled up inside of him and welled up in his eyes. Gibbs lowered his gaze and sighed, shutting his eyes tightly._

_            "Ye don't know what happened, do ye mate?" He didn't wait for a response. "Barbossa and the crew… They…" Gibbs opened his eyes and looked at Jack, sympathy playing on his features. Jack merely cocked his head to the side in uncertainty and picked up his tankard, trying to hide the fact that Gibbs was scaring the absolute hell out of him. "They tied a cannon to ole' Bootstrap's bootstraps when he confronted Barbossa 'bout the mutiny… And threw him overboard." Gibbs voice lowered in tone. "He's dead, Jack, they killed him. He's dead." Jack's eyes held no emotion as he stared at Gibbs, frantically telling himself that it wasn't true, that William Turner, his friend, his bloody **father**, couldn't be dead. Reality hit him like a hammer to a nail and he froze._

_The half full tankard fell to the floor and shattered, as did Jack's heart._

*** * ***

He shook his head and ran a grimy hand over his tired eyes.

            He could still remember that conversation so vividly, as if it had just happened only yesterday. Never had he experienced pain like that; not even the time he had gotten slashed across the stomach was not nearly half as painful. It had hurt like nothing else.

But, being the stubborn man that he was, _is_, he had simply shrugged it off and ordered another grog… and then another… and another…

Unfortunately, Gibbs had not let him drink himself to death.

            Jack opened his eyes again slowly and stared down at the crystal blue water. The last time he and Bootstrap had talked had been on a day very much like this one. The sky and water were both so clear and blue… the wind was reasonably calm… there were no ominous clouds overhead…-

            "Cap'n?" Jack physically jumped out of his painful memories and turned around; being sure that his expression was one of annoyance. Judging from how the female pirate rolled her eyes, he had succeeded. 

            Smirking he asked, "You bellowed, love?" Ana Maria crossed her arms and gave him an almost deadly glare.

            "_Yes_," she spat. "We're nearly at Port _Royale… -We should be there __within _two_ __hours." Jack clapped his hands together, bowing slightly. It was how he said thank you, though sometimes, on very rare occasions, he'd actually say the words. Ana Maria noticed the look in his eyes and felt her frustration slowly start to drain away._

            "Jack," she called, softer this time, and the pirate captain looked at her. "Ye alright?" He smiled and nodded.

            "Aye, love, just tired." His smile didn't convince her, and his eyes deceived him. Not wanting to push the matter, knowing that Jack Sparrow would eventually come around, she nodded slowly and turned on her heel. Jack watched her go for a few seconds before turning back around and staring at the sea once more.

At least he would see Will and Elizabeth soon… -his friends. His only _real family._

But even they could not replace the hole in his heart that had been created by Bootstrap's death.

He did nothing, said nothing, just steered and prayed for a stronger wind so that he could reach his friends faster, as the water became blurry.

**_To Be Continued…_**

**AN: This is my third PotC story and my _first_ attempt at a long one. My other two are shorts. Bear with me, guys, I'm still getting used to everyone's personalities and what not. And, no, this is _not slash._**

**A grog (Jack's drink) is a pirate's favorite. It includes the following: lemon juice (sour), sugar (sweet), rum (strong) and water (weak).**

**Please R/R and I will try to get chapter two up before I go back to school (which is a week from today)!**

            __


	2. A Bittersweet Reunion

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Two**

            "We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs, drink up me 'earties yo ho!" He sang quietly to himself. "We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and-… _Uh_…" He laughed as he set the hammer down and picked the sword up, balancing it; his eyes shifting back and forth from the handle to the razor-sharp tilt. Seeing nothing wrong with it he sheathed it and set it aside and sighed as he looked over at the many other unfinished orders. In the two years that had passed since the whole Aztec Gold incident, his swords had become increasingly popular, and as a result he was literally drowning in orders from various people for various occasions. After Mr. Brown's death nearly a year ago, Will had been put in charge of the Armory, and at first had felt dismayed at the idea of running his own shop with no aid. He had grown to like it though, and like had grown to love. No one was around to bother him while he was trying to concentrate on the very precise detail of the sword orders.

The only thing he didn't like was that everything fell into _his_ lap, including deadlines.

Will wiped his hand across his brow, grimacing at the moisture that now covered his palm. That was another thing he hated -it was always so damn hot in that Armory shop.

            Deciding that the rest of the orders could wait, he walked over to the door and slipped out. Once outside he couldn't help but smile as the sweet smell of the sea hit him and his mind was taken back to the two and a half days that had come two years ago. He would never admit it, but he sometimes missed those days; missed that feeling of freedom that Jack so eagerly craved. 

Jack. 

Captain Jack Sparrow. Now _there was an interesting man. A fine pirate and a good man._

A man Will had not seen since the day he had saved him from the gallows. 

            Will shut his eyes and slid down the door, leaning his head back and letting the cool breeze from the sea rustle his hair. There were tons of rumors floating about regarding what had become of the captain, and some were rather bizarre. There was the one where the pirate captain had supposedly been slapped too hard and one too many times and had had his jaw broken as a result of it, forcing the still relatively young man to finally settle down on land and hand over the Pearl to somebody else. Both Will and Elizabeth had found that one to be highly amusing and so very, very wrong. Another one, though, wasn't quite as humorous. Not even two weeks earlier, Will had overheard talk amongst a few of the townspeople, one of them being a native from Tortuga. The man from Tortuga explained in almost too cheery of a tone that Jack had died, had gotten some sort of fever and had died alone in his cabins on his ship last month. Will shook his head and opened his eyes briefly, staring at the sea as a small smile spread across his face.

That one was so very, very wrong as well.

            "We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs…" He closed his eyes again and trailed off, humming silently to himself. "… We plunder, we rifle and -_And_, uh…" He stopped short, growling in annoyance. "See Jack? You being gone for two years straight is bad -I've forgotten the words to the bloody song!" 

            "Not my fault ye never were good at memorizin' stuff, lad." His eyes snapped open and he jumped to his feet, smiling broadly before he could even try to stop himself.

Jack hadn't changed at all. Same clothes, same coat, same bizarre hair with ornaments dangling around his face, same kohl out lined eyes…

Same everything.

            "Jack!" Will called cheerfully and jogged over to his older friend, who just smiled slyly and held up to slender fingers, eyes narrowing at Will.

            "_Captain_," he corrected and lowered his hands. Will couldn't help but laugh. "_Captain_ Jack Sparrow, savvy? Honestly, why is it so bloody hard for people to remember that?" Will just smirked at him, a frown quickly taking its place when he remembered that Jack _was_ _still a wanted man._

            "Why are you here? You could get caught, Jack! -And where's the Pearl?" Jack held up a single hand as a sign for Will to cease his questioning. Will did so, crossing his arms and leaning his weight on one foot, waiting for the pirate captain's answer.

            "She's safe, mate, hidden in a nice secure spot," Jack answered, referring to the Black Pearl. "And I never get caught, lad, 'member? I just came to visit you and your bonny lass, who, I'm guessing, you're still with, correct?" Will smiled at the mention of his fiancée's name and nodded his head.

            "Yes. We are engaged." Jack pressed his hands together in apparent glee.

            "Ooh, a wedding! I love weddings; drinks all around!" Both Jack and Will laughed, finally stopping a few seconds later. 

            "Jack?" Jack looked at the younger man. "I'm glad you're here, I was worried that the rumors were true, that you _were dead." The pirate shook his head, gold teeth appearing as he grinned._

            "No one can kill Captain Jack Sparrow, lad, ye know that."

            "It's hard when Captain Jack Sparrow hasn't contacted me once in two years, though," Will said with a grin and Jack nodded, smiling. The pirate captain looked down at the ground briefly and then at the sea. Will looked so much like his father… it hurt to look at him, it became harder to breathe. So many memories were racing through his mind that he was sure his head would explode from their pounding feet. Why did he have to look so much like Bootstrap damn it?!

            Will noticed Jack sway and reached for his arm, steadying the older man concernedly, a stern look to his eyes. "Jack, what's wrong?" He continued to stare at the sea. _I killed your father, Will; they threw him overboard because he was fighting for me… Trying to save **me**… It's my fault… _Will shook Jack. _It's my fault… _He shook him harder and the pirate captain finally snapped out of it, turning away from the sea and locking eyes with Will. 

The look in the pirate's eyes scared the hell out of the blacksmith. He looked… -He didn't know, he couldn't describe what he saw… -His eyes just looked so… -They were _so…-_

Lifeless.

            "Jack…" He whispered, his grip on the pirate's arm tightening. "Jack, what is it? What's wrong?" Jack pulled his arm away from Will's iron grip and grinned at his friend, ignoring the pain that looking at him was causing him.

            "Nothing, lad, just tired…" Seeing that the blacksmith wasn't falling for it, Jack quickly added more to his lie. "There was a bad storm, mate, and it rocked the Pearl practically all night. None of us got any sleep." Will opened his mouth to protest but Jack held up a finger. "Now," he smiled, "let's go see dear Miss. Swann, savvy?"

Will stared at him. The lying bastard… Will wasn't a simpleton; he saw that pain in Jack's eyes. 

_Bloody stubborn pirate_, he thought to himself.

            "Savvy," he mumbled a few seconds later, and Jack smiled in his characteristic way. He turned on his heel and headed off towards the Governor's house, trying to catch his breath. It was so hard looking at Will… -Seeing so much of Bootstrap in him, the same features, the same _everything… -But it wasn't him, and that hurt. It hurt like nothing else. If not because of him, Bootstrap wouldn't have spoken up and he wouldn't have been crushed by water pressure. He'd be alive, Will would have his father._

He shut his eyes tightly. Not only had he killed Bootstrap, he also had hurt Will.

Jack opened them again, not noticing that Will was walking beside him, fairly close in case the man started to sway again.

Will noticed Jack's glistening eyes and sighed.

**_To Be Continued…_**

****

**AN: Whew, well, okay! There was chapter two -hope you enjoyed! This was my first time writing Will so I hope I did a good job. Oh, and there's a hint as to what the story is about towards the end… ;) **

**Oh! I need to make a quick shout out to somebody… **

**Kristine****- Thanks for your help with these two chapters, dropping everything numerous times to read over them and letting me know what you thought and if anything needed to be changed. It's really nice of you to do that… especially when you're in the midst of doing homework. :)**

**To whoever read chapter one, whether you read and reviewed or just read, thanks for taking the time to read and I hope you enjoy chapter two!!**

**Please R/R on your way out!!!! **


	3. Grim Realizations

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Three**

            "He seems alright to me." Will jumped out of his thoughts and looked at Elizabeth with a puzzled face. Elizabeth couldn't help but smile as she repeated, "I said, he seems alright. Just as I remember him." Will shook his head.

            "You didn't see his eyes."

            She raised an eyebrow. "His eyes?" Will nodded. "What about his eyes, Will?" The blacksmith said nothing. He didn't exactly know _how_ to describe what he had seen in the pirate captain's eyes… -It had scared him, whatever it was, and it wasn't Jack, wasn't _Captain_ Jack Sparrow. 

He didn't know who it was.

All he knew was that the pirate had been holding back tears.

            "Will?" Elizabeth called, gently tucking pieces of hair that had gotten loose behind his ear. "Are you alright?" He looked up at her and sighed at her concern.

            "Yes," he lied and looked down. She laughed softly.

            "You never _were_ good at lying." Will didn't laugh, didn't smile. Elizabeth's face twisted up in confusion as she followed his gaze, trying to figure out what he was staring so intently at.

Her eyes stopped their journey when they landed on the scar on his left hand, the same one all three of them had.

A little souvenir from the Aztec Curse, as Will had later joked.

            "You miss him?" It was merely a statement hidden in the form of a question.

            Will gingerly traced the scar with the tip of his finger. "You can't miss something you never had." He reached the end of the scar and stared at it a moment longer before balling his fist up. "I know I _had him, but-… I mean… After going __so _long_ without _seeing_ him, __hearing him, you forget that you __have him…" Will shut his eyes tightly; opening them a few seconds later. She frowned at them, at the fact that he was trying to act brave._

            "Did Jack's eyes look like yours do right now?" Her tone was soft and laced with understanding, her eyes were warm and full of love, of strength, something that neither Will nor Jack held at the moment.  

Will continued to stare at his fist.

            "I don't _know_ _what Jack's eyes held… -Pain? Regret? Sorrow?..." He trailed off and finally let his hand fall limply to his side. Elizabeth sighed in frustration. "I don't -I don't _know_." Will leaned back in the chair, Elizabeth doing the same and leaning against him, silently fuming that there was nothing she could do, nothing she could say. She slipped her smaller hand in his larger one and rested her head on his shoulder. _

            "All of the above," she answered softly, "his eyes, _your eyes, held all of the above." She had seen Jack's eyes in Will's and couldn't, like Will, describe what she had seen._

            "Jack misses my father." It was barely audible, but she heard it and she nodded in agreement. Will sighed and covered his eyes with his free hand. "That's why he got so upset when he looked at the sea and why he got dizzy looking at me… -I resemble him. I _am_ him basically." 

Elizabeth heard him clear his throat.

            "It takes a strong man to cry, Will." And Will just nodded. It _did_ take a strong man to cry, and Jack had cried.

He needed to talk to Jack, and he would later that evening. He would make sure of it.

**_To Be Continued…_**

****

**AN: First off, I'm sorry that this chapter was late. I was going to write it last night but I ended up spending like two and a half hours trying to figure out Bootstrap's supposed death, which I finally came up with a fairly reasonable explanation. This chapter was mostly just to get some things straight… and I wrote it in a way that you have to think to get the chapter, and I hope everyone does!**

**Either that or I'm just not making sense… Probably the latter… Er…**

**Anyway, this was my first time writing ****Elizabeth**** and I hope I did a get job. I have the next chapter basically planned out and I'll try to get that up ASAP. Chapters 4-5 will be when the story picks up and the second category I put this in (action/adventure) will come into play finally. ;)**

**Thanks to all of my reviews!! *hugs you all and hands you Jack Sparrow bobble heads* **

**To answer one reviewer's question- No this is _not slash. Sorry. :(_**

**I'm sorry this chapter sucked but I'm like half asleep (it's ****2:33 AM****) and I just really wanted to update for you guys today! Four will be better, I promise, it'll make up for the suckiness of this chapter!!**

**Please R/R on your way out. :) **


	4. Lean On Me, and I Will You

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Four**

Will could do nothing but stare at the man.

            His body language told Will all that he needed to know. He sat motionless as the dead with his legs pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped firmly around them, staring out of the window and at the sea, his expression clearly void of any and all emotion.

This wasn't the man Will had met and befriended two years ago. That man was Captain Jack Sparrow; pirate extraordinaire! -Infamous and exceedingly feared Captain of the dreaded Black Pearl! 

Captain Jack Sparrow didn't _feel emotion, didn't __show pain. This man, this __person, wasn't Captain Jack Sparrow. He was simply Jack Sparrow…the boy inside the man. _

The boy who looked through a _man's eyes and had seen things only __men should see, had felt things only __men should feel._

The boy who had been suffering in silence over losing not one, but _two vital people from his past, people he had most likely considered family._

Barbossa and William Turner.

One had betrayed him, and one had died for him. 

            Confusion mixed with remorse mixed with fury mixed with pain had made Jack grow up too fast, and thus, having no one to turn to, probably too far scarred to know and to believe in any form of trust again, he had buried those emotions inside. Those emotions hadn't faded away any of the times Jack had continuously dived into the sea trying to rid himself of them, they hadn't drowned when he tried to drink them away, and they didn't leave when he hid from them. 

They were the boy inside of him, the pain he had tried to will away countless times and had failed at doing so countless times.

Will blinked.

            The full moon danced into the room through the window and highlighted various parts of Jack's unmoving body. Will just sighed and leaned against the wall, cursing silently to himself. Jack was usually giddy, always smiling and smirking in his characteristic gold toothed way, walking drunkenly through every day life with a nonchalant expression and a nonchalant tone. He had always appeared as the vaguely insane care free type, even way back when two years ago. 

Will closed his eyes tightly when he heard his friend sigh.

            _The lying bastard_, Will thought to himself and opened his eyes, letting them roam across the wall that was in front of him, as if it would tell him what to do next. What _could he do next? It was obvious that the pirate captain missed Bootstrap significantly, possibly even missed Barbossa. Even if the man had killed Bootstrap and had left Jack to die, that last thread of friendship just _wouldn't_ let go. His eyes stopped their pointless roaming and rested on a mirror that hung slightly to the right of where he was standing. When you looked into the mirror from the hallway, you could see basically all of the room behind you, as well as the two walls across from it and the doorway. It was essentially opposite of the doorway, so if someone were to look into it from the room, they could see the walls to the right and left of the doorway in it. Jack was staring at the mirror and in doing so, staring at Will. He returned Jack's gaze through the mirror._

            After a few seconds of the deafening silence, Will asked softly, "What are you looking at, Jack?"

            "The sea," he answered, not removing his eyes from off of Will. The blacksmith merely nodded and shifted, growing uncomfortable at the odd tension between them. 

            "What do you see?" Confusion briefly covered Jack's face as the Pirate Captain looked at the lad, one eyebrow raised in slight amusement. It soon vanished though, and his face was once more void of any and all emotion. 

            "Water, lad… -Just water."

            It was Will's turn to raise an eyebrow. "_Just water?" Jack nodded._

            "Yes, _just water_." He repeated, minor irritation lacing his tone. Will watched as Jack looked away from the mirror and turned back to the sea. He removed his gaze as well, looking hard at his shoes, remembering what Elizabeth had said, of how it takes a strong man to cry. 

            _It also takes a strong man to admit when he is hurt_, Will thought to himself, eyes skimming over the scuffed wooden floor. _Whether he is physically hurt, or psychologically hurt_. He studied a scuff mark, his eyes walking on it from the base to the tilt.

            He stopped at the tilt and after a long pause whispered, "I miss him too, Jack." Jack said nothing, and Will merely sighed at the man's stubbornness, his eyes wandering the trail of another scuff mark. "_I miss him, and I didn't even really __know him, but you __did, so you have to miss him, Jack, in some shape or form…" He trailed off and the Pirate was still silent. This did not fool Will. "I wish I could have known him better, I wish that I hadn't been so young that I couldn't retain events. I have next to nothing to remember him by, Jack, aside from a few memories, but even _those_ are blurry." Will paused. "You are lucky to have known him, Jack, even if you didn't get to say goodbye, he was still your friend and you were his… -You are lucky." The blacksmith sighed at the realization of his words… -He really __didn't have anything to remember his father by. Memories can't replace being there and living it. _

            "He cared for you, William Turner." Will jumped and looked up from the battered floor to the mirror, peering hard at the pirate captain, his expression one of shock. He hadn't expected him to say anything. "He cared for you," Jack repeated, his eyes never leaving the sparkling sea. "He often thought about you, wondered what you were doing, _how you were doing…" He trailed off and Will just blinked. "He loved you a lot, wouldn't ever bloody shut up about you," Jack chuckled softly, and Will felt his own mouth turn upwards into a small smile. "Every night he would look up and whisper goodnight to you, knowing that even though he wasn't with you, you would still hear it 'cause you felt the same breezes as him, and they would carry his words to you. He did that every night, Will, _every night_." Will swallowed hard. Occasionally, on nights that he had had his beside window open, he would hear his fathers whispered words being gently carried in on a breeze with the sweet smell of the sea covering them. _

            "I heard them." The young man whispered, his voice drenched with the obvious pain Jack's words were causing him. "I just, I… I _missed him. I didn't __want a pirate, I didn't __want a merchant sailor, I wanted __him… -I wanted a __father." Will looked away from the mirror and shut his eyes firmly, leaning his head back against the wall as he tried to control his overpowering tears. He lost, and they spilled. "I wanted _him_, just _him_…"_

            "You _had_ him." Was Jack's simple response. Will shook his head even though Jack wasn't looking at him.

            "Sometimes it felt like I didn't, Jack." The pirate captain tore his eyes away from the sea and sighed, looking down briefly before looking into the mirror, sighing again when he saw the blacksmiths' pained expression and the tears flowing from his closed eyes. 

            "But you always did, lad," he whispered, "you always _did. He loved you, Will; he loved you a lot… -Far more than I can tell you, far more than words can express…" Jack cut himself off when he heard his friend whimper. Finding it too painful to watch, he looked away from the mirror and at his hands, slowly starting to fiddle with various rings on his slender fingers. "He was a good man, Will, with a good heart… -If you don't believe nothin' else I have said, at least believe that." Will opened his eyes to the wall. Pirate or not, Bootstrap _had_ __been a good man _with_ a good heart, and Will knew that he wouldn't have forgotten him, through all the pillaging and plundering, he hadn't forgotten him. The image of a little boy back home stayed in his mind. Wiping away the drying wetness from his cheeks, he looked up at the mirror and at Jack, who was still messing with some of his various rings._

            "He must have been a good friend," Will whispered. The pirate sighed at his hand and looked at the mirror, looking Will in the eye.

Glistening eyes met crying eyes.

            "He _was_, William, he _was_…" Jack's eyes looked as they had earlier when the two friends had reunited outside of J. Brown's Armory. "He was my best friend…-Ole' Bootstrap took me in when my parents threw me out; he welcomed me on his crew, onto his ship, into his _life! And then he had to go and do something so… so… _Stupid_! I told him that if the time ever came, I wasn't worth his life, I wasn't worth him __suffering…" His voice held such pain, such _emotion_, that Will found himself on the verge of wanting to cry again. Jack slowly shook his head, as if trying to convince himself that what he was saying wasn't the truth. "When I was standing on the plank getting ready to jump, I looked back at him…" He dropped his gaze from Will's eyes. "I just, I had to see him one last time, I had to see my friend _one last time_… -His eyes just held so much… -So much fucking guilt, like it was __his fault! I couldn't do anything but stare at him like a simpleton as one of the crew members stomped on the board and I fell off. The whole time I was falling, I heard him yelling at Barbossa, at the crew… -I hit the water and I still heard it, I purposely went under and __still heard it… -I heard it until I reached the shore to that God forsaken spit of land; I heard it until the ship was out of sight… -He was trying to negotiate with them, trying to save me…" Jack laughed softly and wiped away stray tears, watching as they glittered on his finger from the moonlight pouring in. "He was a good man, William Turner," Jack looked back at Will, "don't ye ever forget that."_

            Will shook his head. "I won't, I _can't." Jack smiled shortly at him before pulling his gaze away from the mirror. Will watched the pirate captain pull his legs up to his chest again, leaning his head on his arms and watching the sea._

            "Goodnight, Jack."

            "Goodnight, mate." Will smiled softly as well and pulled the door shut with a soft click, walking to his and Elizabeth's room.

The boy was slowly but surely growing up.

**_To Be Continued…_**

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**AN: First off, I'm sorry that this is so long, I needed to get this out of the way for chapter five, which will contain action, I promise!! And to answer a reviewer's question, no this is _not a sequel to "Not Much, How 'Bout You?"._**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews on both this story and my other two!! It really means a lot!!**

**Again, I apologize for the suckiness of this chapter and of chapter three. It shall get better!!**

**I'll try to get chapter five up before I go back to school Tuesday.**

**Please R/R on your way out. :)**


	5. Delusional Past

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Five**

            _"Enough deferment!" The man yelled irately; the crew's various shouts immediately ceasing, as well as his captain's abortive attempts at some form of a negotiation. "This be your punishment for being such a simpleton, Jack, it's the right thing to do. Such trusting people as ye'self aren't worthy of life, nor a ship fine as this." His mouth turned upward into a most deceitful smirk as his eyes bore into the pirate captain. As he was opening his mouth to holler at Jack to jump, a familiar, yet not allied, voice stopped him._

_            "This is wrong, Barbossa, and you know it."_

_            "You forget your place, William," his voice was literally soaked with the hate that he had for the man before him. Bootstrap simply shook his head, his eyes going from Barbossa to Jack and then back at Barbossa._

_            A small secure smile played on his lips as he said, "**No, Barbossa, **you **forget **your** place." Barbossa merely stared at him, at that small secure smile and forcefully back handed the man across the face. Caught off guard, Bootstrap stumbled backwards where several of the Black **__Pearl__'s crew grabbed him and held him firmly in place, away from Barbossa and away from Jack. Bootstrap quickly recovered, shaking his head, stopping and raising it and looking directly at Jack. Jack returned his gaze._

_Bootstrap's heart crumbled._

_Jack's eyes were full of fear, something he had never seen in the young captain's eyes before. **Never.  **_

_            "Barbossa don't do it!" He called out in spite himself, knowing full well that it wouldn't work, that Barbossa wouldn't listen. The man did nothing but start to walk towards the plank where Jack stood at the end, helplessly bound by both the wrists and feet. Trying to escape would prove meaningless. Bootstrap shook his head roughly from side to side, lurching forward and grunting in aggravation when the crew held him back "You thoughtless son of a bitch!" To Bootstrap's surprise, Barbossa stopped in front of the plank and turned to look at him. Bootstrap's struggles halted as he returned his uncanny gaze._

_            "Don't." Bootstrap whispered as a final effort to save his best friend. "Don't do it, Barbossa. Even you couldn't live the rest of your life with a fellow crew member's blood on your hands." Jack rose his eyes from the water and looked at Bootstrap's. Barbossa simply turned around to look at Jack momentarily before looking back at Bootstrap, that same deceitful smirk dancing on his lips. _

_            "Fortunately there are ways to cope." He slammed his foot down on the rim of the board and Jack fell off, screaming in a mixture of both fear and fury. Bootstrap's voice soon over powered his, though. He screamed and shouted at the newly-made captain, lurching forward and trying to break free of the three or so people that were holding him back. His body quivered with rage and his fists clenched up in hate._

_Silence fell over the crew as one of the people that were holding him back clubbed him over the head with the handle of their sword and he fell to the deck completely unconscious. _

*** * ***

He hastily blinked the aching memory away. There were more important things to attend to, other things that needed his attention.

His current situation was one of them. 

The same situation he had been in for two years. Two long years with his only companions being the voices in his head, mocking him and laughing at him each time he turned up empty handed; each time he failed.

And failed he had countless times over.

            He sighed and peered out over the endless sea, watching as it sparkled with a nonchalant twinkle in the mid-afternoon sun. The tiny boat cut through her like a dancer would their routine, gliding with the grace of a bird and with a silence of the deceased. It was eerie to him. He had spent the last twelve years of his life alone, and the silence was still always so eerie to him. It didn't seem real, it didn't _seem_ _silent_. Even if there was no noise, he always heard noise; he always heard the voices in his head and the mocking laughter of his grief-stricken yesterdays. It was never anything more or less than the eerie silence. That was the one thing he had always been able to count on.

            Port to port, country to country… -He had spent the last two years searching for what he lost twelve years ago, for _who was _taken_ from him twelve years ago. Little information was attained from the people he asked in the various ports and countries, and the information was always something he had been told before, or of very little help. He had gone through numerous crews and numerous ships, each varying in size and in kind. Now he sailed alone on a small trading ship that he had commandeered from a port in Nevis. _

As he was watching the sea shine, the memories once again trampled across his mind, beckoning him.

*** * ***

_After the mutiny, the Black Pearl set course for Isla de Muerta, home to the cursed treasure of Cortés_. 

_Barbossa knew the tales, had heard the stories of the gold being under a terrible curse, but he had disregarded them. Greed beat out good judgment, as with the rest of the Black __Pearl__'s crew._

_Save for one, that is._

_            Around dawn the next day Bootstrap awoke only to find himself locked in the brig. After screaming, shouting and cursing at Barbossa and the back stabbing crew with no avail, he gave up with a punch to the rigid wall and a groan of frustration. He slid down the barred door and leaned his head back. His mind wandered off to Jack, to his best friend, to that look of utter fear that had been shining in his eyes. Bootstrap couldn't even start to imagine all of what Jack was feeling when he was standing on that board. Betrayal, remorse, anger, fear, pain, confusion… and the list went on. Sighing again, he shut his eyes tightly, trying to block off reality. He hadn't saved him; all he had done was stand there and watch as Barbossa condemned him to his own personal hell. _

_His eyes snapped open._

_The treasure, the **cursed** treasure of Cortés, the treasure that made you not among the living and so you could not die, but neither are you dead. _

_His mind flashed to the image of a little boy back home in __England__, and then to the fact that to be affected by the curse, you had to remove a coin **from out of the chest.**_

_Bootstrap grinned._

_            Being that neither Barbossa nor the Pearl's crew believed the curse to be true, Bootstrap would have no trouble condemning them to **their **own** personal hell. He would convince Barbossa that he was indeed on his side and go ashore with them when they reached the island. There he would take but only a single piece of gold and, upon reaching the first place that they would stop to spend their fortunes, he would send it off to his son, William Turner. **_

_He frowned. Not only would Barbossa and the crew be immortal, but **he** would be as well. _

_He shook his head. Bootstrap knew that to break the curse, all of the gold pieces had to be returned to the chest, and that if William had **his**, and none of the crew knew about it, they would be condemned to hell for eternity. His mind was made up._

_He would get revenge for the death of his best friend._

*** * ***

The Heathen Gods had failed to mention that along with all of the gold restored, to break the curse, the blood had to be repaid.

            _Probably some kind of ill-mannered booby trap_, he thought to himself with a grim expression as he opened his eyes. He couldn't exactly remember _how he had come to learn that, but he had, and in doing so, being that no one had come after him, they had gone after his son; after Will. Two years ago, on the day he found out that the curse had been broken, he packed what little belongings he had and set sail to try to find his son, to make sure that Barbossa and the Pearl's crew hadn't killed him._

After two years and 730 days of nothing but disappointment after heart wrenching disappointment, he was slowly starting to lose hope.

But he wouldn't give up.

            Bootstrap stood to his feet and narrowed his eyes at the approaching island, an island that he knew all to well, the one where this had all begun twelve years ago.

Isla de Muerta. 

**_To Be Continued…_**

****

**AN: Woohoo! A slight cliffhanger! I hope that this is making sense, and I hope that now everyone sees where this story is going. I know that you guys probably have a billion questions racing through your mind, and I'm sure that the main one is, "Wait, how the bloody hell is Bootstrap _alive_?!", and I promise that they will all be answered in the upcoming chapters! This will all make sense in the end (I hope).**

**Being that I start school tomorrow, I don't know when chapter six will be up. I might start on it tonight, though.**

**Thanks to everyone's reviews on this and my other two stories! I'm so glad you guys are (hopefully) enjoying my stuff!**

**I will update as soon as I can, promise!**

**Please review on your way out. :)**

            __


	6. The Past and Present Conjoined

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Six**

The entrance was darker than he had remembered it to be.

Bootstrap sighed. He had no means of light what-so-ever. 

If anyone or anything lurked in the cursed cave, he would be an effortless target.

            He continued to row his tiny boat forward, making sure to keep both a sharp eye and a sharp ear on his atmosphere. He had learned that technique the hard way, and it had nearly cost him his life. Sighing at the memory, cursing _at_ the _memories, he continued on. That eerie silence was once again settled in around him, and he had to literally keep himself from answering their calls as they walked through his mind. _

He paddled faster, as if trying to swim away from them.

They followed.

Bootstrap answered by paddling even quicker.

They continued to beckon.

He continued to try to get free.

            "Would you give me a moment's _peace!?" His voice echoed throughout the cave and he quickly dropped his eyes, shutting them tightly and shaking his head. No, they wouldn't win this time, not again, not _now_… -He had a job to do, he had to find his son; he had to find his best friend. Gripping the sweaty oars, he once again started to propel forward. _

Bootstrap squeezed his eyes shut as they stomped through his mind. 

He didn't even realize that he had increased the speed of his paddling.

That is until he hit land with a loud thump.

He found himself falling forward, caught off guard by the intensity of the collision.

             Bootstrap shook his head from side to side and stood up, slowly making his way out of the boat. Stealing a quick look around at his surroundings, automatically knowing just where he was, he started forward, eyes engrossed on the soft glow in front of him. 

It was all so sickeningly familiar. Every detail, every chink, every _rock_.

He was frightened by the familiarity. 

            Sighing, he vigilantly climbed up the conjoined rocks and crouched down, peering out over the larger one. His hand purposely swatted at some of the treasure, upsetting it, and he immediately ducked down all the way, listening suspiciously. 

Nothing. 

             Bootstrap turned to his left and made his way down the low-ceiling passageway; wincing when he bumped his head on it. Rubbing his head with his right hand, he made it out and stole a brief look around, momentarily confused as to where the chest was. He spotted it in the center of the large tomb-like room and jogged towards it, warily making sure that he did not touch or jostle any of the resting treasure that lay around it. He reached the chest and promptly froze in place; mumbled inaudible words falling from his mouth in the form of a hefty gasp.

Barbossa. Barbossa was dead.

He was dead beside the chest with dried blood surrounding him. Bootstrap backed away slowly, his eyes never leaving the former captain.

            Someone, _someone_ had killed him… -But who? And _when? He wasn't decayed, wasn't _decaying_, just looked like he was asleep, as if he would wake up any minute…-He __should have been at least __partially decayed by now, he should have been pale, he wasn't… he was… _Lively_ looking. Bootstrap looked at the chest in bewilderment._

It was open. It wasn't shut.

Begun by blood, by blood undone… -It _wasn't_ shut.  

            Bootstrap whipped around when he heard the treasure behind him being jostled. His eyes roamed over the various rocks and the entrance, over any possible hiding places. 

He froze when something hard and cold pressed into the back of his head.

            "Fancy seeing you here, eh, William Turner?" That voice, oh dear God, _that voice_…

The abhorrence he had for the man was gradually resurfacing after twelve years of being buried.

            "Barbossa." The words left a bitter taste in Bootstrap's mouth. 

            "Indeed." The older man forcefully yanked him around, staring him in the eye; that same deceitful smirk he had had on his face the day he marooned Jack playing on his lips. Barbossa held him in place with his left hand and held the loaded pistol to his temple with the right. "How did you get here?"

            Bootstrap clenched his fists in a combination of loathing and disgust. "That's none of your concern, Barbossa."

            "Aye," he protested, his scheming smirk growing even wider, if possible. He cocked the pistol. "But it is, William, it _is." Bootstrap just stared at the man, as if daring him to pull the trigger. Barbossa's eyes roamed over his and he growled in exasperation, jerking Bootstrap closer to him and nearly spitting in the man's face as he yelled, "How did you get here?!"_

            Bootstrap set his jaw. "Give me one good reason why I should tell you." Barbossa chuckled.

            "Because, _unlike_ your son and your best friend, I can't die." His tone was laced with venom, the same venom it had been laced with twelve years earlier. Bootstrap had to literally hold himself back, knowing full well that fighting him would just be foolish. 

Barbossa couldn't be killed by one man alone.

            "Jack's alive?" Bootstrap asked, playing the fool, already knowing that Jack Sparrow was indeed alive, that a mutiny _could not kill the proud pirate captain. _

            "Yes, he is. And if you want him to remain so, as with Will, I suggest that you let me, shall we say, _commandeer your boat." He cocked his head to the side, grinning madly. Bootstrap just frowned and stared at him._

            "You wouldn't dare…" He breathed, referring to the threat aimed at the two most essential people in his life. 

            "Ya never truly know someone, William, so don't be saying that I wouldn't dare, because I damn well would. So, if you don't want Jack and Will to experience a rather slow and painful death, I _highly_ _suggest that you let me _borrow_ your _boat_."_

            "Who stabbed you?"

            "That's none of your business, boy."

            "And neither is how I got here." Barbossa opened his mouth to object but shut it almost abruptly and rolled his eyes at the man's antics. 

            "William, _I _can't die, _they_ can…-Y_ou can." Bootstrap narrowed his eyes at that. "So unless you want me to kill them, stab Jack all over again and cut your boys bloody neck open, I advise that you follow my orders and sail back with me to Port Royale."_

            "Why? So you can kill them _then?" Furiously, Barbossa pushed the gun harder against his head, his finger dancing on the trigger. Bootstrap couldn't help the wince that ran through his body._

            "I either kill you and take your boat, or you follow me orders and sail back with me and help me port the vessel in Port Royale." His voice was low and ruthless. "And maybe, just _maybe, you'll be able to outsmart me again and miraculously save the day, but I doubt it." Barbossa grinned mockingly. "Which will it be, mate?" Bootstrap stared at the man, his gaze never leaving the others eyes, those cruel callous pitch black eyes that he had come to hate more than anything else._

The eyes he had sworn to watch bug out as he ran a sword through his heart as revenge for all that he had done.

And he would live to see that.

            "You do know, Barbossa, that as soon as we get to Port Royale, I'm finding Will and Jack and escaping, right?"

            Barbossa merely grinned once more, seemingly unfazed by the man's future actions. "Ye can run, William Turner, but ye can't hide." He forced himself behind Bootstrap and started to his boat, his pistol still pressed against his temple with his finger lying gamely on the trigger. Jack, Barbossa's monkey, jumped down from some rocks overhead onto his shoulder, screeching loudly when he recognized Bootstrap.

Bootstrap could do nothing but cooperate with Barbossa at the moment, much as he hated that.

He needed him to lead him to his son and to his best friend.

Killing him could wait. 

**_To Be Continued…_**

****

**AN: Strange place to leave off, I know. I'm sorry this is so late guys, I've been writing this in bits and pieces for like the last couple of days. Stupid school and blah. I have no time. But- but!- tomorrow's Friday, so yey!! First time writing Barbossa, so yeah. Mleh.**

**Again, I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. **

**Thanks to everyone who R/R'ed or just read!! Ya'll rock!!**

**I know that there is a lot of confusion and questions now and I promise that they will be answered and cleared up!!**

**And to clear something up, chapter four took place at night, and chapter five took place the day after at ****noon****. This one takes place around the same time, fairly close to evening now, though. It takes two days to get from the island to Port Royale and Jack leaves in two days, so he would be there when Bootstrap and Barbossa show up. Grin. Oh yes, that shall be interesting to write. :) **

**Also, I'm sorry if this one isn't written as well as the other five chapters.**

**I'll try to update ASAP! Please review on your way out. :)**


	7. Hope

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Seven**

_"He was a good man, Will, with a good heart… -If you don't believe nothin' else I have said, at least believe that."  _

            The churning water danced onto the shore with abundant elegance, pulling back with her bits and pieces of sand and whatever else her long blue fingers touched, adding to her show more acts.

_"Ole' Bootstrap Bill… we knew him. Never sat well with Bootstrap what we did to Jack Sparrow, the mutiny and all. He said it wasn't right with the code, that's why he sent off a piece of the treasure to you as it were. He said we deserved to be cursed… and remain cursed."_

The awakening sun splashed an assorted variety of reds, oranges and bright yellows onto the performing ocean, acting as her spotlight as she continued to pound into the shore, winning more and more actors and actresses for her infinite career. A warm gentle breeze blew across his face and he shut his eyes against it; remembering what that warm gentle breeze had once carried. Cargo so precious, missed by so many…-It wasn't _fair that the breeze had forsaken it, had let that cargo just simply fade away. He opened his eyes slowly, staring out over the ocean, trying his hardest to ignore the warm breeze that was still pulling at his hair, and, in doing so, pulling at his heart._

_"The last we saw of ole' Bill Turner, he was sinking to the crushing black oblivion of Davy Jones' Locker."_

Past tense… -Why, when anyone spoke of his father, did they always have to use _past tense?!_

            _Because he's dead_, Will told himself forlornly. The young blacksmith dropped his unsteady eyes from the sea to the railing of the balcony, silently cursing himself for being so unbelievably weak. He had shared his feelings with Jack, and the pirate captain had shared his with him, so neither man had a reason nor a _need to continue on with their grief, to continue to miss Bootstrap._

But both still very much did.

            His eyes met with the ocean once more; a flash of anger briefly highlighting them. He was locking eyes with his fathers' murderer and could do nothing to get back at her, could commit no sort of revenge. Bootstrap hadn't drowned, he _couldn't have _drowned, he had simply been crushed to death due to the perilous water pressure from being _so_ far down for _so long. The constant strain had crushed him, much like he and Elizabeth had killed those three skeletal pirates two years earlier._

The sea had killed him. His home and his life had been his death.

            "Will?" A soft voice called him from behind.

             "Yes?"

            "What on Earth are you doing up this early?" Elizabeth stood beside her fiancée and peered over at him, curiosity shining in her eyes as her brow scrunched up in concern. 

            Will didn't look away from the sea. "I don't know," he answered truthfully, really not sure as to why he was up. "Where's Jack? Still asleep?" He saw Elizabeth nodding from the corner of his eye and laughed softly.  "That man has interesting sleeping positions." Elizabeth didn't say anything and Will looked over, vaguely baffled as to why she was suddenly so silent and staring at the sea just as attentively as he had been. "Elizabeth? Are you alright?"

            She nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. Just watching the sunrise." 

            "It's indeed a beautiful sight," he smiled, taking her hand in his own. Elizabeth returned the gesture, watching in complete awe as the sun crept leisurely upwards, casting beautiful golden rays across the ocean for as far as the eye could see.

 The two fell into a comfortable silence, one staring at the sky while the other at the sea.

            Will broke it a few seconds later. "Jack's leaving the day after tomorrow." Elizabeth abruptly heard the pain in his voice that he was trying to cover up and glanced up at him, frowning. He noted the frown. "What?" She just merely sighed.

            "Will, we both _know what's wrong. Don't give me 'what'." Will blinked at her, genuinely confused by her sudden change of mood._

            "Elizabeth, what are you talking abo-"

            "Your father," she interrupted. "Your father, you miss him. That's what's wrong, that's why you're up." His eyes wandered back to the sea and he said nothing. She sighed, hating, for once, that she was right. "I'm sorry if I seem harsh, Will." He shook his head.

            "You don't."

            "Didn't talking to Jack help?"

            "Not really, and I'm sure him talking to me didn't help him all that much either." Elizabeth pulled him into a bear hug, apologizing profusely in his ear for not being able to say anything or to do anything that would make it better, make it easier. She could do nothing but watch the love of her life suffer, and she hated that with a passion so thick that it frightened her.

            "Really, it's alright…" He trailed off and pulled away, sighing and looking down at his and Elizabeth's bare feet. "Just, I mean…-He was down there for _ten _years_, Elizabeth, and even if they _did_ throw him overboard very far from shore and into exceptionally deep water, he'd still be able to someday find his way out… -Find land… -__Somewhere." Elizabeth scrutinized his expression, confusion shining in her eyes._

            "So what are you saying, Will?"

            Will looked her in the eye. "He _couldn't have died." Elizabeth wondered if his words were__ indeed the truth, or just a useless attempt to keep from losing hope. "He found land somewhere, Elizabeth, I _know_ he did." Will paused. "My father is alive." She dropped her eyes from his when she discovered the optimistic glint that was sprinkled with a heart wrenching sting far too painful to look at any longer. Elizabeth didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise, to even start to try to explain how difficult it was to get around underwater; she couldn't cut that last thread of hope. "I'll find him." Her head snapped up immediately and she studied the determined look that covered Will's handsome face.  His eyes deceived him, his eyes weren't determined, they were far from._

They were crying in agony.

Pure agony.

            What else could she say? "I know you will, Will." Elizabeth whispered, dropping her eyes once more, noting with a silent cry that Will had once again turned back to the sea and was staring at it in obvious deep thought. 

            "Now _that's _interesting." Will jumped back around as Elizabeth's head snapped up, both staring at the pirate captain. It was obvious that he hadn't been out of bed long, being that his kohl was semi smudged and his clothes were still crumpled. "Not even married yet and already you're lyin' to him, love. Tsk, tsk." He shook his head teasingly and grinned at the young couple.

            Will watched as Jack walked towards the balcony and leaned against the railing. He rose an eyebrow at his friend. "Weren't you asleep?" 

            Jack sneered. "Voices carry, lad." Will nodded apologetically and Jack dismissed the matter with a quick movement of his hand before resting it on the railing again. "So, I overheard your conversation about ole' Bootstrap Bill." Elizabeth frowned at the captain, one eyebrow raised in apparent irritation.

            "Eavesdropping is a bad habit, Jack." 

            Jack merely smirked, gold teeth coming into view as he said, "And so is one talking loud enough that one wakes people up." Will chuckled quietly and Elizabeth shook her head, leaning against the wall to the left of the two men. "Now, as I was saying…" He trailed off, reaching his arms up and stretching. They came back down with a loud yawn and Will and Elizabeth found themselves rolling their eyes in amusement. "I overheard your conversati-"

            "Why did you say I was lying to Will?" Elizabeth interrupted. "I'm _not_ lying to him, Jack." She narrowed her eyes at him, as if daring him to say something negative. Jack held up his hands in defeat.

            "Calm down, m'lady," he smiled, making hand gestures as he continued. "If ye let me continue, I'll tell ye what I meant. Savvy?"

            "_Savvy_." She muttered, slightly annoyed. Jack clapped his hands together and bowed. 

            "Now, anyway, I overheard your conversation about Bootstrap, and I have to say that Will," he looked at the younger man, "is correct." Jack watched as Will's eyes widened in reasonable shock and held his hand up before the lad could start the one hundred question game. "If I'm right, then he was rescued in the same way I was when I was marooned." 

            A sly grin crept onto Elizabeth's lips. "You mean by roping together sea turtles, Jack?" 

            "You mean by roping together sea turtles,_ Jack?" The pirate mimicked her, smiling in satisfaction at her disgruntled face. He shook his head at his friend and turned his attention back to Will, who was eagerly, yet patiently, waiting for Jack to tell him more. "I was on that island for three days, remember? -And on the third day was when the rum runners, who," his hand pointed at Elizabeth, "need to kill her for burning their bloody rum, rescued me." Jack lowered his hands and Will nodded, anxious for more. He _needed_ to know more about his father. "Now, I was sort of out of it when they took me onto their ship because for one, I was very much drunk, two I had had too much sun and heat and three, I was really rather irritated at Barbossa and the crew, so I don't remember _much _of what they said, of what they told me. But I do remember __one thing." Will stood beside Jack and leaned against the railing as well. "They told me that they had rescued someone __else from another island they knew of that was similar to the one I was on. Now, I didn't believe in the Aztec Gold curse then obviously, being that I was going _after_ the bloody thing, and I didn't know that Barbossa had thrown your dad overboard, so I didn't really give it much thought. But after Gibbs told me about what they had done to William, and actually _seeing _the curse with me own eyes two years ago, I know its true, and I know Bootstrap is alive because they came after you because you __had the coin, and you _got_ the coin because Bootstrap _took_ it __from the chest and sent it to you, probably as some sort of revenge against the crew or something." Jack grinned. "Bootstrap was cursed, he couldn't die, and he __didn't die. The rum runners saved him; he was the man that they were talking about. Will, your father is alive." _

Will blinked.

            "But, if you knew all of this information, _why were you so depressed about him being dead?" Will asked._

            "Because I didn't put all of the pieces together until I heard what you two were saying," he answered, Will nodding. He continued. "For the past twelve years I've done nothing but try to push everything that has _anything to do with that whole incident out of my mind and out of my life, so I never really gave it thought until just now." Will lowered his eyes, trying to let everything sink in. His head was literally spinning from all of the new information, from the realization that his father was alive. _

His father was alive.

_Alive_.

Will smiled.

            "Do you know where he is?" Elizabeth spoke up suddenly, directing the question for Will to Jack, knowing that he was feeling more than a little overwhelmed at the moment.

            "No, I don't, but we could certainly find him, it'd be easy…" Jack trailed off and looked at Will, as did Elizabeth. The blacksmith felt the eyes burning on his back and he raised his head, looking from Elizabeth to Jack, his face that of a bemused child.

            "_What_?..."

            "I'm leavin' day after tomorrow, lad, why don't you and your rum burner over here come with me and the crew? We can hunt down your father." Sensing Will's anxiety, Elizabeth pushed herself up from the wall and strolled over to him and started to rub his back with her hand.

            "We should, Will, I mean… -It's your father." Will just continued to look down. Everything had been thrown at him so _fast! _

            He shook his head, looking at Jack. "How do you even know where to start, Jack?"

            Jack smiled. "I know some rum runners that your bloody friend Norrington missed and two of them are from the ship that saved first your father and then me, so all we'd have to do is sail to their Port, track them down and go from there. All fairly simple." He noticed Will's distraught face and placed a hand on his shoulder, understanding highlighting his dark eyes. "I know this is all so very overwhelming for you, lad, and so I'll give you time to think. Just let me know by tomorrow evening, savvy?" Will just stared at Jack.

            "I don't need time to think, Jack… -I want to do it, I want to find him." Jack grinned and stood up.

            "Oh good!" He clapped his hands together. "I shall throw on me coat and then go track down Anamaria and let her know that you'll be comin' with us." Will and Elizabeth watched as the pirate captain turned on his heel and walked out, neither one saying anything. 

The silence told enough… -The expression on Will's _face_ told enough.

Come the day after tomorrow, after twenty long years, he'd finally meet his father.

Will smiled.

**_To Be Continued…_**

****

**AN: I apologize for the length of this chapter; it wasn't originally intended to be this long. Oh well. That's how stories go I guess. ** **A big thanks to all that have read & reviewed, or just read; ya'll rock!! Oh, and with chapter six, there was a major typo that I didn't discover until earlier today, and I wanted to point it out…**

**Bootstrap couldn't be killed by one man alone. (Bootstrap should be Barbossa. I am so sorry that I did not catch this sooner, but please know that Bootstrap was the wrong name, it is Barbossa!)**

**Um, that's about all. Chapter eight (which I am very much looking forward to writing) will be up ASAP! Damn school. Mleh.**

**Please review on your way out. :)**


	8. Leverage

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Eight**

Nearly two and a half days at sea with the man and he had not killed him.

Had not spoken to him; had not made any sort of contact with him.

All he had done was stare at him.

            When he was not staring at him, he was staring through him, staring at the yesterdays, at the memories. Memories that had never left Bootstrap, had been with him every second of everyday for the past twelve years. But Barbossa's memories were different from his, held something different, something that Bootstrap's, not any of their twelve years, never had. 

Barbossa's memories, his yesterdays, were not streaked with red, they did not ache with pain.

They were merely hollow.

This frightened Bootstrap to no end.

            Bootstrap broke his eyes away from the callous man behind the wheel and let them roam around, trying to figure out where he was. He didn't recognize his surroundings, hadn't for about a day now. He didn't like not knowing where he was, not knowing where the nearest Port was. It made him feel uneasy, _extremely_ uneasy. The one person he despised more than anyone or anything else steering the ship didn't help matters.

Seconds had turned to minutes… Minutes to hours… Hours to the nearly two and a half days. 

Bootstrap had found himself faintly wondering why neither one had killed the other.

A matter of leverage, he had decided earlier. 

            His eyes stopped their senseless journey and settled on the eerily calm water. There was no sound what-so-ever, other than the wind, but even that was growing silent. The mocking silence was all that he had heard over the course of two days and it was driving him insane. Those voices wouldn't shut up, those memories and those yesterdays would not leave him alone. No matter what he did, no matter what he thought about, they would not quiet down, they would not dissipate. Bootstrap shut his eyes tightly, willing himself to open his mouth, daring himself with a series of stony threats to say one word, to communicate with the man behind that wheel. 

            "You stabbed Jack." He blurted it out before he could even try to hold it in and he shuddered, running a hand through his damp hair. Sure, the fact that Barbossa stabbed Jack _had_ been running through his mind, hiding in the back, but he hadn't meant to voice it. He knew Jack was alive, Barbossa had said so, and so there was no _need to voice it. _

            "Aye." Bootstrap rolled his eyes at the man's easily spoken reply. The heartless bastard. "Made the mistake of stabbin' him too soon, though, and I'll not be makin' that mistake again." Bootstrap raised his eyes to the man, one eyebrow rising slightly.

            "Too soon?" 

            "Ye know more 'bout the curse than I do, William Turner, ye don't need to be askin' me questions about stuff ye already know." Bootstrap shook his head.

            "I'm not familiar with that part, Barbossa." 

            "Who am I to inform you?" Barbossa turned around, stealing a quick glance at the man; grinning when Bootstrap narrowed his eyes in absolute detest. "We'll be arrivin' at Port Royale soon." He turned back around. "Just thought I'd let ye know." 

            "Good," Bootstrap replied as he stood to his feet. "The sooner the better." 

            Barbossa chuckled. "Do ye think I'm a simpleton, William?" Bootstrap bit his lip to keep from answering. "Ye outsmarted me then, ye won't be doin' it now." He crossed his arms.

            "And how do you plan to stop me?" Barbossa chuckled again and turned around, his grin spreading from ear to ear.

            "Because you are a good man." Bootstrap's expression took on a look of bewilderment. With the grin still smeared across his face in a most cunning way, Barbossa rose a hand and pointed a smudgy finger towards the left of their boat. Bootstrap followed the finger.

Three pirates hung by rope, all three long gone and long decayed. 

Bootstrap's eyes ran back to Barbossa, who just smiled.

            "You're a good man, and a good man wouldn't want to see their misfortune," he gestured at the fallen pirates with his hand again, "happen to their son and best friend." Bootstrap just stared at him, the fear that he'd actually harm one of the two men or both for that matter, growing stronger than he had hoped. The man had gotten to him again, had frightened him again.

Bootstrap was stuck. 

Stuck like he had been stuck twelve years ago.

Anger bubbled through his veins.

            "Son of a _bitch_!" He spat heatedly. "I swear one day I will kill you, Barbossa, I promise you that! _I promise you that_!" Barbossa merely smirked it off, unfazed by the man's promise. Bootstrap furiously kicked the side of the boat, cursing loudly at no one in particular. He hated that man, hated him so much it terrified him. Never did he think he would come to loathe someone as much as he did _that man_. Words could not describe the anger, the frustration, the hate… -They could not pinpoint the emotions running through his veins; they could not describe the amount of pain that he would cause this man… -Twelve years worth of pain he would cause him… -Words could not describe it; _could not! _

            "Much as I love watchin' ye suffer, there's something that might be of interest to ye just up ahead." Throwing his hands to the sides in aggravation he stormed up to where Barbossa stood, hands still sitting contentedly upon the wheel, face still holding no panic caused by Bootstrap's angry promise and words and actions. This only made him more heated, if possible. 

            "What is it now you bastar-" He stopped short when his eyes caught sight of what Barbossa was talking about. He lowered his hands and did nothing but stare at it. Barbossa grinned.

Bootstrap could do nothing nor say anything as Barbossa steered to the Black Pearl.

*** * ***

            "I caught up with Ana Maria earlier today, lad," Jack whispered. He followed Elizabeth to the main entrance of the Governor's house and waited until she nodded, meaning that there was no one around that would be of danger to Jack, or to Will, being that Elizabeth had snuck both the pirate and the blacksmith overnight. Seeing her nod, he rose his tone. "She's gatherin' up the crew and will meet us at the Pearl later." Will stole a quick glance around as well before hurrying to catch up and stood beside Elizabeth.

            "Then why are we leaving now?" The younger man asked, looking over at the pirate captain. "Shouldn't we wait until they are ready?" Jack shook his head.

            "No. She's been down there alone for three days, mate, we gotta make sure everything's still there and what not. Savvy?" A memorable voice hummed behind them and all three silently groaned. Elizabeth ushered Jack and Will into the bushes, leaning back out briefly before looking back at them.

            "I'll handle Commodore Norrington and catch up with you as soon as I can." 

            Jack grinned. "Nice to see your bonny lass playin' hero, mate. That's rare in a lassy." Elizabeth rolled her eyes at the pirate and kissed Will on the cheek before turning on her heel and jogging back in the direction that they had come towards Norrington. Will and Jack watched mutely from the bushes as she started a conversation and turned the man away, allowing Jack and Will to make a break for the Pearl. Looking around momentarily, trying to figure out the quickest and quietest way, he ushered for Will to follow him out of the bushes and to the left. They ran in silence, both glimpsing back every couple seconds to make sure that they were not being followed. Jack reached the docks first and hid behind a tree and looked around, sighing with relief when he saw that everybody was busy going about their own thing. Turning around he signaled at Will with his hand and ran to the left where the Pearl was hidden amongst a patch of tall trees. Jack smiled when he saw his ship and immediately climbed aboard, Will catching up and doing the same a few seconds later.

            Apprehensively he asked, "Does Elizabeth know how to get here?" He watched the pirate nod his head as he was inspecting the wheel of his freedom. Will nodded as well, leaning against the railing of the ship. "That was certainly a nice little run, eh?"

            Jack chuckled and walked down the stairs, looking at him. "I'm gonna check on me quarters, lad, you check around up here." Upon seeing Will nod and push himself up from the railing, following Jack's orders, the pirate captain started off to his cabin. The door opened with a soft click and he pushed it ajar, thrusting his head inside and looking around, making sure everything was as it had been when he had docked it three and a half days ago. Jack pushed it open further and slipped inside, inspecting everything closer and more carefully. He picked up a book Elizabeth and Will had given him and opened it, flipping through the pages with a small smile. That book meant a lot to him and it was always either beside his bed or on it. No one on the crew, besides Ana Maria, was allowed to touch it. Jack gently set the book back down.

That's when he heard it.

That voice… -That voice he hated with a passion so _thick_…

The voice that he had _killed_ two years ago.

Jack blinked. He had to be hearing things; it had to be Will playing some sort of a joke… -That man was dead… He had watched him die… _He_ was the one who had killed him!

            Jack slowly turned around, telling himself that it wasn't him, that it _couldn't _be _him…_

He was wrong, though.

            "Hello, Jack." That deceptive smirk drawn across his conniving face was nearly enough to make Jack stumble back in both shock and fear. _How _the bloody _hell was this man __alive?!_

Jack frantically blinked his eyes shut, and then open, and then shut again; praying that he would disappear, that his mind was only playing a joke on him… A cruel demented _joke…_

He opened his eyes.

Barbossa was still there.

He was alive, Barbossa was fucking _alive_!

            "_How_…" Jack started but couldn't finish, the confusion that was lacing his tone drowning his words and he could do nothing but stare at the man who he had shot two years ago. Barbossa chuckled, clearly amused with the captain's perplexity.

            "I told ye that I could not die, Jack Sparrow, did ye not believe me?" Jack didn't answer, he couldn't answer. He wouldn't be able to say anything logically at the moment if his life depended on it. All that was running through his mind was _how. He watched as Barbossa's smirk grew into a rather large grin. "But _he _can." Jack narrowed his eyes._

            "_Who_?" He managed to get out, surprising himself when the word came out clear. A little wobbly, but clear nonetheless. Barbossa stepped back into the shadows where he had obviously been hiding at, knowing that Jack would not see him when he entered the room. He reemerged seconds later, dragging something or someone by the arm. Jack squinted, his eyes focusing on the face of Barbossa's newest toy.

The man rose his head.

Jack's mouth hit the floor.

Bootstrap. William Turner. He was alive, he hadn't died, he was _alive… -And bound by the wrists and gagged at the mouth. _

But he was _alive!... -And Barbossa's evident bait._

            "He _can_." Jack didn't break his eyes away from Bootstrap's face to look at Barbossa as the man started to speak. "And if ye don't do as I say, he _will."_

Jack stared at the man's eyes.

            "What are…-What're your terms?" Slowly, he raised his eyes to Barbossa. He wouldn't let the man hurt him again, not _again. _

            Barbossa paused for a moment, clearly searching for the correct words. "A life for a life. Give me back what I lost." Jack's eyes narrowed in apparent confusion and Barbossa rolled his. "The Pearl. Give me the Pearl, and Will and Elizabeth. Plus yourself, Jack. You'll be me crew, just until I get a new one that is, a better one, and then… Well… -You'll get to meet Davy Jones, and it will be my absolute pleasure to introduce you."  

            "_What_?!" Jack yelled in response. "Barbossa, are you _mad_? You're _not_ getting the Pearl, or them."  Barbossa unsheathed his sword and held the razor-sharp tilt to Bootstrap's throat and Jack immediately froze. He stared at the tilt.

            "Do we have," he pressed the sword slightly. Jack watched in fury as Bootstrap winced. "An accord?" He finished, grinning at the man. Jack shook his head.

            "I won't let you harm Will or Elizabeth, Barbossa. Do as you please with me, but you will not touch them."

            "You always were so incredibly stupid, Jack, that's why we marooned you." Jack just stared at the man. "Being so incredibly stupid, this should be incredibly easy. Now choose. Your ship, your life and the lives of your two friends? -Or…" He pressed the sword forward, a trickle of blood running down from where it bit Bootstrap's neck. Jack watched it in disbelief. "The life of your equally as stupid mate?" He continued to just look at the man. His head was overflowing with so many thoughts and so many how's that he could barely think straight… -He just knew that his friends were in danger, that Barbossa meant harm to them, to all of them… -He couldn't agree, he couldn't hurt Will and Elizabeth, the Pearl… Those three were his life… They were all that he had.

He locked eyes with Bootstrap, who was a part of his life as well.

            Jack shook his head, a wave of anger washing over him. Unsheathing his sword he lunged at Barbossa and practically embedded the object in his stomach. Jack stared disbelievingly as Barbossa merely sighed in annoyance and cocked his head to the side, easily pulling the sword out and holding it to Jack's throat, his right hand holding his sword to Bootstrap's throat.

He was cursed. Jack felt like running out of the cabin.

He _couldn't kill Barbossa.  _

            "Jack? Jack, are you alright? I heard voi-" Will stopped short when he saw Barbossa. He heard Jack growl his name and he backed up, bumping into the pirate in the process. "-ces…" He breathed, finishing, his eyes still locked on Barbossa. He finally broke them away and let them wander to the man next to him. 

His breath caught in his throat.

It was Bootstrap, it was his father… He was alive… In Port Royale…

As was Barbossa.

            "Jack?" Will sing-songed, continuing to stare at his father. "What the hell is going on?" Jack slapped the sword away from his throat, ignoring both Will's question and the sharp sting of pain that invaded his palm.

            "How the bloody hell are you _still cursed, Barbossa?" He shouted. "We _broke _it!" Will made a small gasping noise and looked back at Barbossa, who just chuckled._

            "That's not important."

            "Then let us go you bastard! Have the bloody Pearl, I don't care, but we are of no value to you!" Barbossa drew back Jack's sword and let it glide across his shoulder, tearing the shirt sleeve and leaving behind a large gash. The pirate captain gasped at the sudden pain and grasped his shoulder, looking down and hissing as the pain intensified. Bootstrap yelled loudly against the cloth that gagged him and tried to kick at Barbossa, stopping rapidly when the older man held Jack's sword to Will's throat.

            "Like I said, Jack, you are incredibly stupid." The pirate captain looked up, his eyes burning with hate. Barbossa merely chuckled. "And to answer your question, let's just say that things are not always as they seem." Grinning, he raised the gold Aztec coin. It shimmered in the dying sun in an almost eerie way. Jack just stared, at a loss of words. How had he gotten that thing?! He was _dead_!

            It seemed as if Will was reading Jack's mind, for he asked, "You were _dead_, Barbossa… -_How did you get that coin?" Barbossa opened his mouth to answer but shut it abruptly, hastily turning around and growling. Elizabeth stood behind him smirking and holding the shimmering coin. He raised his sword to her and started to walk towards her, but she merely stepped backwards, her hand dangling the coin out of the small window that Jack, thank God, had opened._

Barbossa stopped.

            "Let them go or I drop it," she warned, her voice layered with ice.  

            "Give it to me or I kill them." His tone matched hers, but unlike him, she wasn't fazed.

            "Kill them and I drop it and you will be condemned to hell, Barbossa, just as you were before." Barbossa's infinite smirk slowly started to fade. Elizabeth smiled. "Remember? You _feel nothing, you _taste nothing_, you can not die of starvation nor of thirst, nor can you fill or quench it. Need I go on?" Silence fell over the cabin. Barbossa stared at the woman, wanting to slice her bloody neck open, but knowing full well that he couldn't. She was right. Jack lowered his bloody hand from his shoulder and winced slightly when he jostled it. He knew that this was the opportune moment and he had to jump at it._

            "Well then," he started, and four pairs of eyes locked on him. "Seems to me that we have a situation here, eh?" He smiled, gold teeth revealing themselves. "You have something of ours that we obviously won't get back so easily, Barbossa, and we have something of yours that you won't get back any easier. You lose yours, you're condemned to hell, we lose _ours, and we're condemned to hell." Barbossa rose an eyebrow at the man._

            "And what do you propose we do, Jack?" 

            "That's the thing," he answered. "We won't leave this ship without Bootstrap, and you won't leave without your bloody coin. Neither of us are going to just _give _the other what he wants, oh no, it doesn't work that way."

            It was Elizabeth's turn to speak up. "Jack, what are you getting at?" Jack grinned again.

            "I'm getting at that, in order to settle this, we sail back to Isla de Muerta, and settle it _there. Savvy?" _

            "Ah, survivor takes the prize." Barbossa nodded, his eyes gleaming. Will and Elizabeth exchanged a frightened look. 

            "And how exactly do we determine who the survivor is, Jack?" Will asked the pirate, not wanting to really hear what his answer would be.

            "The winner, William, is whoever survives the voyage and survives each other… -If we are all still alive when we reach the island…-We'll settle it then." He turned back to Barbossa. "So, we don't drop your coin and you don't harm Bootstrap. Do we have an accord?" He held out his hand and, grinning, Barbossa grasped it, sealing their fate. Barbossa untied the cloth that gagged Bootstrap and cut the rope that bound his wrists. Bootstrap sighed loudly and looked at Will and then Jack. Elizabeth locked eyes with Will, silently asking who the man was. They widened when she got it and she looked at Bootstrap. 

            "Oh, and Jack?" Jack looked at Barbossa. "Your crew stays here. That was not part of our agreement." He said nothing as Barbossa walked out of the cabin and up to the deck, preparing them to cast off. Bootstrap shook his head, looking hard at Jack, who returned his gaze.

            "I hope you have a plan, Jack, I really do." Jack merely grinned.

Of course he had a plan!

… A plan for other situations that is.

            "Don't worry, William." Was all he could say, all he could manage. 

His words were an effort to try to convince himself as well as his friends.

**_To Be Continued…_**

****

**AN: I hate school. I really do. I have no time to type. Again, I've had to work on this chapter bit by bit each day and I hate doing that. Blah. **

***prays* Oh please have this chapter make sense!! I rewrote parts of it like 25 times!! *prays***

**Thanks to everyone who has read&reviewed, or just read; ya'll rock!!! 41 reviews, yey!!!**

**Chapter nine will be up ASAP. Damn school. Mleh.**


	9. Explanations and Reasons

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Nine**

Will wordlessly prayed that he was not dreaming. 

His father was alive; his father was _in front _of him. It _seemed real enough. As had the dreams. Those had _seemed_ real enough as well, and they had been anything but._

All they had been, all they had done, was cause pain. Paralyzing pain countless times and countless nights again.

            Will watched as his father gingerly pulled the once white shirt sleeve to Jack's shoulder and took hold of his arm, sighing as he inspected the gash that Barbossa had given the man. 

Blood. Jack was bleeding, Jack was _hurt. _

            You couldn't _feel_ pain from injuries in your dreams, and judging from how the pirate captain winced, he _was_ feeling pain. 

Will blinked. Maybe he _wasn't dreaming after all. _

But Barbossa had injured Jack, who or what would keep him from injuring or possibly even murdering Bootstrap? 

Will didn't know whether to wish that he _wasn't_ dreaming, or that he _was_. 

            "He got you good, Jack." 

            Smiling dryly, Jack replied, "Doesn't he always?" Bootstrap rose an eyebrow at his friends' reply as his hands journeyed down to Jacks'. He lifted the hand to viewing level, eyes roaming over the self-inflicted wound that Jack had granted himself when he had smacked the sword away from his neck. Shaking his head, he released Jack's hand and raised his eyes to the pirate captain's.

            "Not even an hour into the voyage and you've already hurt yourself. Twice." Bootstrap crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side, grinning in minor amusement. "Why does this not surprise me in the least bit? You're still daft as ever, Captain Jack Sparrow."   

            "_Finally_! Somebody who remembers the first part of me name!" Jack exclaimed and clapped his hands together, forgetting about the injury that plagued his right hand. He winced when they connected and shook his hand with a hiss. 

            "Like I said…" Bootstrap laughed, and Jack merely looked at the man in displeasure. Bootstrap did nothing but continue to smirk. "Now, now, you know it's my job _and_ duty as your friend to make you angry, Jack."

            "Yes, and you're _so_ bloody good at it." Jack's tone was dripping with sarcasm. He leaned against the wall, peering at the man with an eyebrow raised in exasperation. 

            "I try," the older man responded wryly. "Now, what's your plan?"

            Jack's face scrunched up in surprise. "_Already? I mean… -These things take time, William…"_

            "You don't have a plan." It wasn't a question.

            Jack narrowed his eyes. "I do so… It's just… Accurately challenged…" He watched the older man raise an eyebrow and sighed, throwing his arms out the side, wincing when a small joint of pain ran through his shoulder. "Fine, alright, I don't have a plan… -Yet. But I _will _have one!" Bootstrap shook his head and let his hands fall limply back to his sides as he walked towards the desk that Jack usually only used to map out routes on maps with, knowing that the pirate was bound to have at least one bottle of rum somewhere around it.  Jack watched him.

            "It's called a desk, William."

            "Yes, I _know_ that, Jack. I'm looking for some rum," Bootstrap answered as he closed a drawer and opened the one that was above it. 

            "Ah, I see." Bootstrap didn't have to look at him to know that he was smirking. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed the half-empty bottle and some cloth that he found lodged in the back of the drawer and started to walk back to the captain, who was still leaning against the wall. Bootstrap pulled the cork out of the top and, holding the bottle in his left hand, grabbed Jacks' arm with his right hand and promptly poured the rum out over the gash across his shoulder. Jack winced and unconsciously tried to pull away, but Bootstrap held him in place, moving down to his hand a few seconds later and dumping the remaining liquid onto the wound that was there. He leaned down and set the empty bottle on the ground, shrugging it off when the rocking of the ship sent it rolling. His hands traveled back up to Jack's shoulder and he slowly and carefully started to wrap the cloth around the wound.

Will watched from where he stood beside Elizabeth.

_"He must have been a good friend."_

_"He was, William, he **was." **_

Was. He _was a good friend. Will sighed, still not sure if __was had turned to __is. _

Honestly, he was afraid to believe that he was indeed _not_ dreaming. That this _was_ real.

The pain that tore through his heart that came from waking up alone was just too much to bear with again. 

            He would cry, he would scream, he would bleed… -He _wouldn't survive waking up again. Time after time he had, and you think that he would learn, that he would __eventually feel that painful smack from the uncouth mistress reality and face the fact that his father __was dead, and that his dreams were nothing more than proof of how gullible he was, of how fucking __naive!_

_People learn from their mistakes_, Will thought and sighed, watching as his father bandaged Jack's hand. _Sure they do_. 

            "I have a question." Elizabeth's voice broke the silence. Will didn't look at her. "Jack shot Barbossa and we watched Barbossa die from said shot… -_How is he alive exactly?" Upon finishing addressing Jack's wounds, Bootstrap let go of his arm and turned around, facing Elizabeth. He crossed his arms._

            "Because, lass, you may have broken the curse for _them, for the __crew, but not for Barbossa." _

            "It's Elizabeth Swann," she informed him, and he nodded with a small smile. "And what do you mean 'not for Barbossa'?" Elizabeth shook her head. "We _broke the curse." _

            "Yes, like I said, you broke the curse for the _crew, Miss. Swann, but __not for Barbossa." _

            "Just Elizabeth please, and what do you mean exactly?" Elizabeth's tone was a mixture of uncertainty and interest. 

            "Begun by blood, by blood undone." Bootstrap answered, and Elizabeth narrowed her eyes in apparent confusion, shaking her head slightly. "_Begun_ by blood, by blood _undone_," he repeated, emphasizing on the two key words. "The Heathen Gods placed upon the gold a terrible curse, and the curse is the cause of greed, the price you _pay for your greed. It's blood money. Now, obviously, the person in the biggest rush to reach said gold would be the greediest, correct?" She nodded. "And in this case, that person is Barbossa, and Barbossa was the _first one _to remove a coin from the chest, so logically, out of the Pearl's crew, he was the greediest. Savvy?" Elizabeth just stared at the man, bewilderment shining in her eyes. Will, though, wasn't even looking up._

 Bootstrap frowned.

            "_And_?..." Jack motioned with his wrist, as if telling Bootstrap to continue. The older man shook his head and pulled his eyes away from his son.

            "_And_," he mocked, "as I said earlier, you broke the curse for the _crew_, but not for _Barbossa. There were two curses, you broke one, but one remains, and _that_ is why Barbossa is still alive." _

            "William?" Bootstrap turned around when Jack called him. "One thing, mate… _I killed him_!"

            "Yes, I know that, Jack."

            "So how the bloody hell is he _still alive?!"_

            "Because he was the first one to remove a coin from the chest," he rose an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side. "Don't you listen?" Jack rolled his eyes.

            "I _am_ listening!" He spat. "You're just not making sense! I _get that he was the first one to remove a coin and that there were, are, whatever, two curses, _I got that_!"_

            "Then what don't you get?"

            "_How _is he _alive. And don't tell me because he was the first one, yeah, yeah, I get that much… -But what does __that have to do with anything?" _

            Bootstrap rolled his eyes in exasperation. "He is, what I guess you could call, _double-cursed_ because he was the _first_ _one to remove a coin, and thus the greediest out of the crew. Think, it's _blood money_…-If killed, he can be brought back to life, if he were to die of natural causes like, say a storm, he can be _brought_ __back _to_ _life_, Barbossa __can't die."_

            "So he got bored with being dead and removed another coin from the chest." Jack's tone held amusement.

            Bootstrap shook his head. "It's a trick, a booby trap to _punish the greediest, condemn him or her to hell if you will. Since he was the first one to remove a coin, it's a little bit different for him, or at least if he were to __die that is. Now, _unlike_ the crew, _unlike_ you and me or Elizabeth, Barbossa, _if he were dead_, does _not_ have to remove a coin from the chest _with his own hands_, someone would simply have to _place one in his hand_."_

            Elizabeth tucked her hair behind her ear. "So what you're saying is that he can be both mortal _and _immortal?" He nodded.

            "When he is alive and under the curse, like now, he can simply return the coin and break the curse. If he happened to die for some reason or another while he was mortal, to bring him back, someone would simply have to place a coin in his hand and he'd be alive once more, but immortal." 

            "Seems good," Jack said, "he _can't die."_

            "Yes, that's it, _he can't die_. Who would want to live forever, Jack? Honestly? The older you get, the more tired you get, the more that you want to rest, and how can you if, when you die, someone keeps on bringing you back?"

            "So _don't _have somebody put a coin in his hand. It's that simple." 

            "No, it's not." Bootstrap crossed his arms. "The Aztec Gold curse is chalk full of booby traps disguised as good deals," he glanced at Jack, "when really, you're just condemning yourself to a lifetime of hell. With the first person, the greed overpowers good judgment, and so you start to do things, train people or animals, to feed your greed more. It's a hunger that the first person to remove a coin can _never _satisfy. Now, remember Jack? Barbossa's monkey? Barbossa trained Jack to _always put the gold Aztec pieces in his hands, not knowing that by doing this, he had basically condemned his life. Jack was the one who brought Barbossa back after you killed him, Jack, and he will _keep_ bringing him back each and every time Barbossa dies because _Barbossa _trained him to do so. Barbossa was driven by greed and now he is consumed by it."_

Elizabeth and Jack blinked.

            "Is there a way to kill Barbossa? Do we have to kill Jack?" Elizabeth asked, glancing briefly over at Will before resting her eyes back on Bootstrap.

            "Begun by blood, by blood undone. In order to break the curse that Barbossa is under, he must bleed into the chest, spill it _all_ into the chest. His blood will seal it shut so that Jack will not be able to bring him back to life." 

            "But he's under the curse, we can't kill him." Bootstrap nodded in agreement with her. "So how do we end his curse and get rid of him once and for all then?" His arms fell back to his sides and he sighed, shaking his head.

            "I don't know. But we'll figure a plan, Elizabeth, no worries." He locked eyes with her. "Barbossa won't beat us." Elizabeth faintly nodded her head and let her eyes wander back to her fiancé, trying to comprehend why he had been so silent. He had not said a word the entire time that they had been discussing their situation and that was unlike him. _Extremely_ unlike him.

Elizabeth brushed the coin in her pocket with the tips of her fingers and sighed. 

**_To Be Continued…_**

****

**AN: Okay, I hope everyone gets the curse a bit better, and I hope that no one else finds it stupid. Isabel's coming tomorrow (we're cancelled because of it, that's the only reason why I'm posting this tonight) so I don't know when ten will be up because I don't know whether or not we'll lose power and that if we do, I don't know for how long.**

**Oh yeah, and Jack (the monkey) is immortal already (the little scene after the credits) so reaching in and getting gold for Barbossa wouldn't affect him, and Barbossa wouldn't be able to kill him to rid himself of the problem. Just thought I'd clear that up so there'll be no confusion.**

**Please enjoy this new version of Chapter Nine!**

**Please review on your way out. :)**


	10. No More Mercy for the Traitor

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Ten**

_Bootstrap flinched every time someone addressed the man as captain. _

_Barbossa was **not** a captain; merely a coward who had gotten rid of the __Pearl__'s **true captain and had taken over the title because he was not capable of gaining it on his own.**_

_            Bootstrap couldn't comprehend how the __Pearl__'s crew could be so incredibly blind. Their captain was nothing more than a fraud, a pathetic imposter. How could they not see it when it was so very evident? Jack was their captain, their **true **captain, and a bloody good one at that. But they had marooned him, betrayed him, left him on an island to die as if he were nothing. _

_Jack had just been the key that they had needed to get to their precious treasure. _

_Again, they had been blind, and this time they were paying for it._

_            "Captain Barbossa!" The plagiarizing captain turned away from the window and peered at Pintel, who was standing at the doorway to what used to be Jack's cabin, but was now Barbossa's. "You ordered for me and Ragetti to bring you Bootstrap, sir, and he's right here… -Shall I send him in?" Upon seeing the man nod, Pintel stepped away from the doorway and forcefully pushed Bootstrap in and then slammed the door shut. Bootstrap frowned in irritation and rested his eyes on Barbossa, who had turned back to the window. _

_            "What do you want?" He asked, his tone layered with ice and laced with revulsion. It was bad enough that he was forced to sail on the same ship as the man; he didn't want to be in a room with him as well._

_            "Now, William, that's no way to greet your captain, now is it?" _

_            "You're not my captain, Barbossa." Barbossa sniggered and turned away from the window, walking towards the man. Bootstrap just watched him, one eyebrow raised in suspicion._

_            "Last time I checked, William Turner, the captain is the person in control of the ship," he narrowed his eyes at Bootstrap and leaned against the table. "And since this is **my **ship and I'm **in control of it, I'm the ****captain…-Your ****captain."  **_

_            "This is not your ship you lying bastard, it's Jack's, and you damn well know that." He glared at the man. Barbossa simply shook his head._

_            "Jack is dead."_

_            "You **killed him."**_

_            "Put him out of his misery is more like it. Jack was too trusting. He would have gotten himself killed sooner or later, but luckily I beat everyone to it." A grin spread across his face at the mention of Jack's death, as if he were proud that he had been the one to commit it. _

_Had Barbossa not been cursed, Bootstrap was sure that he would have killed the man at that very second._

_            Bootstrap narrowed his eyes at him and turned on his heel to go. If he could not kill him, he did not want to have to look at him, have to be with him._

_            "Where are you going, William?" Bootstrap reached for the handle to the door, clearly ignoring Barbossa. He was far too angry to speak logically, and he wasn't even entirely sure that he could look at the man without attacking him, even if it would prove pointless. Bootstrap pulled open the door and jumped when Barbossa pushed it shut._

_He looked at the man._

_            "Don't leave yet, I didn't tell you the good news," Barbossa said softly, his grin widening. Bootstrap glared at him, at that grin, and reached for the handle once more, groaning in frustration when the captain once again slammed it shut._

_            "God damnit, Barbossa, just let me leave!" _

_            "Ye don't want to hear the good news?"_

_            "The only news that would sound good to my ears is the news of your death." Bootstrap's tone was low, angry, his eyes boring into Barbossa's, daring the man to push the door shut again. Barbossa did nothing but titter and push him away from the door. Bootstrap ran into the table and stumbled slightly before regaining his footing, glaring at the man with hate that could not be described with words. Barbossa moved in front of the door, leaning back against it and crossing his arms._

_            "Let me tell you the good news, William." Bootstrap said nothing. "Since you won't shut up about **your captain**, I'm going to do you a small… Favor." Bootstrap rose an eyebrow in confusion. Barbossa chuckled. "Ye haven't stopped your belly achin' about him since we marooned him, which was how long ago, William?" Bootstrap narrowed his eyes, knowing that Barbossa knew. _

_            The bastard… "Nearly two days ago," he said dryly, "a day and a half ago." _

_            "So we gave you time to get over it, and you didn't, and frankly, William Turner, we're tired of hearing about it." Bootstrap watched Barbossa's hand travel to his pistol and grab hold of it, raising it to viewing level. He ran his thumb over the edge and looked away from Bootstrap. "So, we're returnin' you to **your captain**," he looked back at him. "You can die as well." Barbossa raised the pistol and put his finger to the trigger, pulling it before Bootstrap could even have time to react. Barbossa watched with amusement as the younger man gasped loudly in shock, his eyes growing wide and his face growing pale. Bootstrap stumbled back, hitting the window._

_Moonlight consumed him, moonlight that had come back out from behind the clouds. _

_Moonlight that revealed Bootstrap's secret._

_He was a skeleton; he was under the Aztec Curse. Barbossa stared at the man in utter shock._

_            The bullet fell from his rib cage and landed on the floor with a loud clink; the swaying of the ship immediately sending it towards Barbossa. It hit his foot and abruptly stopped. Barbossa looked down at it and then back at Bootstrap, who, in return, was looking at him._

*** * ***

Bootstrap shook his head and rubbed his throbbing temple with his fingers. 

Just as he was beginning to think that the painful memories had _left_…-What did he have to do to make them _leave_?!

Moonlight poured in from the tiny window in Jack's cabin; the same window that Bootstrap had run into twelve years ago. 

            The door was the same door that Barbossa had slammed shut twelve years ago… The table was the same table that Barbossa had pushed him into twelve years ago… The floor was the same floor that Barbossa and he had walked on that night _twelve years ago_… 

Twelve years ago had suddenly become the present.

He found it better if he didn't look at the moonlight. 

            Bootstrap closed his eyes. It was too quiet. Why had he suggested that the other three get some sleep and that he would stay awake and keep watch? Why had he been so foolish as to offer _that?! Silence was bad, silence was when the memories came, was when the yesterdays _beckoned_ him! He hated silence, avoided silence, yet he had _suggested _silence!? How could he have been so bloody __ignorant?!_

Bootstrap quickly opened his eyes, concentrating on the sea. If he just listened to her then it wouldn't be hushed. The memories wouldn't come. The yesterdays wouldn't call him.

            Bootstrap rested his gaze on his son. The lad was asleep on Jack's bed with Elizabeth at his side. He had a troubled expression and Bootstrap frowned at that. He had finally found his son and hadn't even acknowledged him, hadn't even _tried _to talk to him. All Bootstrap had done was tend to Jack's wounds and then explain the curse. Not once did he hug Will, not once did he smile at Will, not once did he even _say_ Will! He had ignored him, completely and utterly ignored him! 

Will became blurry, as did Bootstrap's mind. The sea was suddenly soundless.

*** * ***

            _Barbossa finally managed to tear his eyes away from Bootstrap's and he leaned down, snatching up the bullet. He rose it to his eyes and inspected it closely, noting that it had blood on it, had been covered in blood. He looked at his fingers, which were also that same color red and rubbed them together, feeling that sensation that could only be caused by the feel of blood. His eyes ran back to Bootstrap._

_            "You took a coin." It was not a question, and Bootstrap simply smirked in response. Barbossa angrily threw down the bullet and started to walk towards the man. "You **took **a **coin!" He reached him and grabbed him by the shirt, his hands immediately becoming bone and decaying flesh. "You lying son of a bitch! You said you took none!" Barbossa shook him. "You ****said you took **none**!" **_

_            Bootstrap grinned. "Barbossa, **why** would I tell you the truth?" Barbossa's eyes roamed over his and he growled, pushing Bootstrap up against the wall._

_            "Where is it?" He yelled. "Where the hell is the coin?!" Bootstrap said nothing. Barbossa's eyes roamed over his once more, his expression deepening in fury when Bootstrap didn't answer. Furiously, he grabbed Bootstrap by the wrist and forcefully dragged the man to the door and out of the cabin. He dragged him up the stairs and onto the deck of the __Pearl__ where the skeletal crew was._

_            "What are you doing?!" Bootstrap demanded, trying to pull away from Barbossa. "Let me go!" Barbossa only tightened his grip around the younger man's wrist. Clouds covered the moon as Barbossa threw Bootstrap against the railing of the ship, hollering for various members of the crew. _

_            "Sir?" Bo'sun answered as he and three other crew members walked over to Barbossa. _

_            "Since I can't obviously kill you, William, I'll do the next best thing." Bootstrap stood to his feet and pushed past Barbossa in an attempt to get away from him. "Grab him!" Barbossa ordered, and Bo'sun and Twigg did so; pulling the man down and tightening their grips when he tried to break free. Bootstrap stopped his struggles a few seconds later as a frightening realization dawned on him._

_It was a ship, they were **on a ship. He had no where to go.**_

_            "Mr. Turner lied to us, gents, he's **cursed**… -He deserves a punishment of sorts, no?" The four crew members sniggered and nodded. Barbossa grinned. "Well then, a punishment he shall receive." Fear filled Bootstrap's eyes as he watched Barbossa and Pintel drag one of the cannons towards him. Instinctively, he panicked and wreathed under Bo'sun and Twigg's tight hold, trying to get free. _

_            "**No!" He yelled and kicked at Barbossa, growling when Koehler held down his legs. "Damn you Barbossa!" Barbossa laughed as he finished strapping the struggling man securely to the cannon. He then ordered the four crew members to roll the cannon to the side of the boat. "Barbossa you back stabbing bastard!" Bootstrap yelled furiously and raised his head to look at the man. Anger shone in his eyes like the sun shone on the sea. "I hope you burn in hell for this and for what you did to Jack! You deserve hell, you all do! You deserve to be cursed and remain cursed!" Pintel took the rag that Twigg offered him and tied it around Bootstrap's mouth, successfully quieting the man. Upon seeing Barbossa's nod of approval, the four men rolled the cannon to the edge of the ship and, with one final deceptive smirk at Bootstrap, pushed it overboard. **_

_The cannon immediately started to sink into the crushing black oblivion of Davy Jones' Locker._

_Within seconds, Bootstrap was out of sight. Barbossa grinned._

*** * ***

            "Keepin' watch I see." Bootstrap jumped out of his memories with a start and narrowed his eyes at Barbossa. "How very like you." His tone was dripping with smut.  

            "Go away, Barbossa." Bootstrap growled through clenched teeth. He had had just about enough of the man. _More than enough actually. Bootstrap was tired of Barbossa; it was as simple as that. He was tired of him and of his lies, yet he could not rid himself of the man. Bootstrap sighed. _

            Barbossa chuckled. "Now that's not very nice, William."

            "_So_?"

            "Ye better be nice to me, William Turner." Barbossa grinned.

            Bootstrap narrowed his eyes. "Give me one good reason..."

            "I can give ye three," he answered and pointed at Jack, Will and Elizabeth. Bootstrap followed his finger and grew wide eyed, immediately looking back at Barbossa. The older man's grin only grew and Bootstrap had to keep himself from doing anything drastic. "Wouldn't want nothin' bad happenin' to them now would ye?"

            What he wouldn't give to be able to murder _this man! "You already hurt one."_

            "Aye, _one_, there be _two_ _more. Plus I could always just hurt Jack more." Bootstrap just stared at the man in disbelief, his eyes narrowing. Barbossa grinned. "So, ye better be nice to me," Barbossa walked towards the man, purposely stopping in the moonlight. Bootstrap grimaced as his skin was replaced with bones and decaying flesh. Barbossa lowered his tone. "'Cause how you act towards __me is how __I act towards _them_." Barbossa smiled at Bootstraps expression. "Ta." Bootstrap watched him leave and winced when he slammed the door shut; sighing with relief when he saw that he didn't wake any of the three people. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed as he glanced over at Will and at the troubled expression that still rested on his face. _

Bootstrap leaned his head against the wall and shut his eyes. 

Come morning he would meet his son. In a few days, he would murder his enemy.

He was sure of both. 

**_To Be Continued…_**

****

**AN: I have been working on this chapter literally since 1 something this afternoon, and it is now ****4:31 AM****. This is what happens when you rewrite parts and edit too many times. This chapter was one of the more difficult ones to write because I had to make sure it coincided with previous chapters about his past. I did my best, though, and I hope it doesn't suck. **

**Isabel left us without power Thursday-Saturday and then it kept cutting off Saturday and I was afraid to write anything, so that's why this chapter is so late.**

**I'll update ASAP!**

**Please review on your way out! :)**


	11. Why do you Cry?

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Eleven**

_"Every night he would look up and whisper goodnight to you, knowing that even though he wasn't with you, you would still hear it 'cause you felt the same breezes as him, and they would carry his words to you. He did that every night, Will, **every** night."_

Night. He _hated_ night. Yet he loved night.

Yet he despised night.

            Night was the only time that he got to be with his father, whether it was through pain masked as persuasive dreams, or through the whispered words that the breezes carried in. Sometimes it was both, sometimes it was just one, and sometimes it was neither of the two. He had never felt as alone as he did with the latter. It was a jarringly cold feeling, the tedious distant throb that reminded him day and night, night and day, that his father was a man that he had never met. His father was nothing more than a letter there and a message here, a gift at this point and a trinket at this time. A man, as Will had later been told, whose life was the sea, whose true love was the ocean, whose lust was freedom. 

A man who could not swallow his pride, toss aside his self-importance long enough to visit his son, to _meet_ his bloody _child! _

Not once.

The cry of a child went unheard every night. Tears that shed the blood of a broken heart and screamed the why that he could not understand were soundless.

_"He often thought about you, wondered what you were doing, **how** you were doing…"_

Eighteen years of Will's life had been nothing but a lie. Had it not been for Jack showing up when he had two years ago, he would _still_ be living that lie. His father was not a merchant sailor, his father was a Pirate. His father had chosen the sea and piracy over land and parenthood. A ship had been chosen over a son, a life thrown away for another. Will had no man to call father other than a man that refused to call him son. 

            At night he would dream the painfully masked slaps from the uncouth mistress reality. In them he had Bootstrap, he _had _his father. His father hugged him and held him, told him that he loved him, and Will would smile, Will would hug him back…-

And Will would wake up to shadows on the walls. Alone. 

            Will glanced at Bootstrap, who had fallen asleep at some point during the night. He always woke up when he made contact with him. He would not this time. He would _not wake up again!_

He would rather not be able to make contact with his father than not have his father at all. 

            Vision growing blurred, Will gently removed Elizabeth's head from his shoulder and leaned her down against Jack's pillow; smiling at the serene look that covered her face. He quietly rose to his feet and, stealing a quick glance at Jack to make sure that he had not awoken the Captain, he crept to the door and pulled it open; jogging up the stairs and onto the Pearl's deck.

Barbossa was no where in sight. Will was alone.

He leaned against the railing of the Pearl and set his tears free.

*** * ***

_            "Will?" The eight-year-old turned away from the bug that he was examining. His eyes rested on the brown envelope that his mother was holding for a short second before they traveled upwards to meet hers._

_            "Yes, mother?" _

_            "A package arrived for you today," she rose her hand and held the envelope out towards Will. "It's from your father." Will immediately lost interest. All he ever got were trinkets and letters from his father, never anything more, never anything less. Wren, his mother, had explained that his father was a busy man, and Will had nodded with understanding. It wasn't that he didn't recognize that as a merchant sailor, Bootstrap **had** to be away from home a lot, it was the fact that the man never came home that Will could not understand. He had never even met him and he was hoping that he would today, because today was his birthday._

_All he gotten was another letter and, most likely, another trinket._

_            His eyes fell back down. "Oh," he answered simply, trying to cover up the disappointment that was lacing his tone. Wren sighed and kneeled down beside her son and ran a hand through his hair; laughing softly when the child grumbled and shooed her hand away. She brought her hand back and positioned herself so that she was sitting crossed legged and gently pulled the little boy onto her lap. _

_            "That's an interesting looking bug, isn't it, Will?" Wren asked as she wrapped her arms around the little boy's waist. Will nodded his head and leaned back against her, eyes never leaving the little insect that continued to crawl around the dirt patch that was in front of them. "He looks lonely." She said a few seconds later, watching as the insect seemed to stop and hopelessly look around, as if looking for its companion. _

_            "Maybe his daddy is a merchant sailor, too," Will answered, "and he misses him." Wren frowned._

_            "Do you miss your daddy, Will?"_

_            "I don't know, mommy. Can you miss something that you never even had?" Generally Wren would have been proud at the wisdom that his words held, but at that exacting moment in time, she wasn't. He was wise beyond his young years, too much so for his own good. _

_            "You have him, Will."_

_            Will shook his head. "I just have letters, mommy. And gadgets." Will watched as the insect crawled overtop a rock and scurried off into the grass. "Just like the bug only has dirt and rocks." _

_            "Dirt and rocks are better than nothing, honey," she said quietly, "as are letters and gadgets. Those are your special way of having your daddy with you, because he writes those letters from his heart, Will, hoping that the words will embrace you, since he can't." Will said nothing and Wren sighed again, rocking gently from side to side, knowing that the soothing motion always made Will feel content. It was times like these that she hated her husband. _

_Truly and honestly hated him with every being of her existence._

_            "Do you want to open daddy's letter, Will? It might make you feel better." Wren whispered the encouraging words and Will just sighed. He didn't quite understand how more words and more devices would replace his father, but he trusted his mother, loved his mother, didn't want to hurt or disappoint his mother, and so he nodded. She smiled and kissed the top of her son's head before turning her eyes away and picking up the worn brown envelope that she had set on the ground._

_            "Can you read it?"_

_            Wren nodded. "Alright, honey." Will watched her carefully open the envelope. She slipped one hand in and pulled out the letter, which was written on worn paper with smudged words, obviously wet from the sea. Placing the letter in her left hand, same hand as the one holding the envelope, she once again reached in with her right and pulled out a circular golden coin with a skull on the front. Will's eyes widened in curiosity and he eagerly took the coin as soon as his mother offered it to him. He held it with both hands and inspected both the back and front carefully, a small smile tugging at his lips as he moved the coin around with his finger tips._

_Wren silently thanked God that Will did not know that it was a Pirate medallion._

_            His mother opened the folded paper and cleared her throat. "Ready?" She watched him nod and moved her eyes from him to the medallion. Sighing, they traveled up to the letter. "My dearest son," she began, looking briefly at Will, who was still exploring every crevice of the gold coin. "Hopefully this will arrive in time for your birthday, and if it doesn't, I apologize. Along with this letter, I enclosed a small birthday gift. It is not much, but I thought that you would enjoy it more than I would. I traded supplies with an older man and he gave me this, saying that it is very, very special. Take good care of it, William, keep it hidden in a secret spot, a secure spot so only you know where it lies. I have to cut this short as we are going to head back onto the ship. Take care of yourself, son, and take care of your mother as well. Love you both, William Turner." Wren started to fold the letter back up, trying to swallow the lump of guilt in her throat. _

_Lies, they were telling their son bloody **lies**!_

_            "Where should I keep it, mommy?" Will asked suddenly, and Wren shook her head, smiling at her son's excitement; something that he was never granted when a letter from his father arrived. Will turned away from her and turned the coin around with his fingers. "He said a hidden, secure spot." He looked back at his mother. "What does 'secure' mean?"_

_            "Safe, protected," she answered. "In a safe spot." Will lowered his eyes briefly back to the coin before looking back at his mother._

_            "Do you still have that gold chain, mommy?" He watched her nod. "May I please have it? I'll attach the coin to it and wear it around my neck where it will be close to my heart, which is the safest spot that I have." Wren smiled and nodded, tears threatening to creep into her eyes._

_            "Of course you can! What do you say we go do that now?" Will smiled and nodded his head; bolting up from his mother's lap and running excitably inside of the house, the gold coin clutched tightly against his small palm. Wren sighed and stood to her feet, looking momentarily up at the sky before following her son inside and shutting the door._

*** * ***

Two years later, shortly after Will's tenth birthday, Wren was stabbed to death in the living room of her own home.

The letter he had received from his father on his eighth birthday was the last one that his father ever sent him.

            Two days after his mother's death, he stole away on a ship headed for the Caribbean. The last letter that he had gotten from his father was sent from a port called Tortuga, and he planned to go there in search of the man who, for ten years, had been a man with no face that he called father. After being found by the man who captained the ship that he had stolen away on, he was allowed to stay aboard if he would pull his weight in various daily chores. Of course, Will had agreed.

Two months later, the ship was attacked and burnt by Pirates.

He was the only survivor.

Elizabeth Swann had spotted him in the water.

            Once they reached Port Royale, Will was handed over to the man who ran the Armory Shop, Mr. Brown, to aid him with his work. 

His ambition to find his father, and the hope that he was still alive, had gone up in flames with the ship that had taken him away from England.

            The Black Pearl was the same ship that had invaded his home two months and three days ago. It was the same ship that carried the man who had stabbed his mother to death after she refused to give him her son and the gold coin. It was the same ship that carried the same man that had killed his father.

The ship had found him two months later and Will had barely escaped.

The ship and the man found him eight years later and again, Will had barely escaped.

The ship and the man found him two years later and this time, Will saw no chance of escaping.

The man who had killed his mother held his father captive; the man who had sent him the cursed golden coin on his eighth birthday.

            The awakening sun poked its head lazily over the horizon. Reds, oranges and yellows soon stretched across the sea for as far as the eye could witness. Will turned away from the reflecting, blinding water and sat down, leaning his head against the railing of the Pearl. He shut his eyes and silently begged the memories and the yesterdays to go away. They didn't listen and Will sighed.

*** * ***

_"Ye better be nice to me, William Turner." _

_ "Give me one good reason..."_

_ "I can give ye three. Wouldn't want nothin' bad happenin' to them now would ye?"_

_ "You already hurt one."_

_ "Aye, **one, there be ****two **more**. Plus I could always just hurt Jack more. So, ye better be nice to me, 'cause how you act towards ****me is how ****I act towards **them**."**_

Bootstrap mutely cursed at the discussion that he had had the pleasure of having with Barbossa earlier that morning. 

            "… -should take turns with the coin." Bootstrap shook his head in an attempt to rid his mind of the words. He looked over at Elizabeth, who was looking back and forth between him and Jack, and smiled apologetically. 

            "My apologies, Elizabeth, what did you say?" She sighed and Bootstrap didn't know if it was with relief or irritation. 

             "We should take turns with the coin… -You know, _trade_ _it with each other so that Barbossa won't know who has it." He nodded his head in agreement with the young lass' idea. Jack, though, said nothing, and Bootstrap dimly wondered why._

            He briefly glanced over at him before answering, "Good idea." Jack stood with the door opened ajar and was peering out of it, his expression serious. His eyes, though, held sorrow, looked the way they had while he was being marooned all those years ago. Bootstrap frowned.

            Elizabeth pushed herself up from Jack's bed and reached into her pocket, fishing around for the gold coin that she had stuck in there the day before. "Good, then. I'll give it to Will, who'll give it to Jack, who'll eventually give it back to me and so on." He didn't remove his eyes from Jack's solemn form. 

            "What about me?" 

            "Barbossa would automatically suspect you, so it's better not to include you." 

            Bootstrap pulled his eyes away from Jack's motionless body and looked at Elizabeth. "Will has found himself a bright young woman." He smiled, and Elizabeth blushed. Her finger tips brushed against the coin and she pulled it out and looked briefly at it before raising her eyes once more and searching the small room for Will. Panic gripped her body when she discovered her fiancé to be no where in sight. 

            "Where's Wi-"

            "On deck." Elizabeth looked at Jack. Jack didn't turn away from whatever it was that he was staring at to return her gaze. "Will is on deck." He repeated, and this time Bootstrap looked at him as well. Elizabeth thrust the coin back into her pocket and practically ran to the door.

            "What? Why?" She asked as she pulled the door open a bit more, peering out at her fiancé. "Is he alright?" She looked at Jack with eyes full of worry. Jack said nothing. "Jack?" She questioned, her tone softer this time as she returned her gaze to the man on the Pearl's deck. He was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms resting on top of them. His face was buried against his arms and it didn't take a genius to realize that the young man was crying, or at least sobbing, by the way that his back shook every couple seconds. Elizabeth frowned. Something was wrong, _dreadfully wrong._

            "William." Elizabeth's head snapped back to Jack when she heard the older man's voice. "You can't put it off any longer… -You have for twenty years." Elizabeth shifted her eyes from Jack to Bootstrap, who was standing with his back to Jack and Elizabeth, peering out of the window.

            "I _can't talk to him, Jack… What if I hurt him?"_

            "You're _already hurting him by ignoring him." Jack's voice was sharp as ice and as lethal as poison. Elizabeth found herself wincing at the uncharacteristic tone. Bootstrap sighed. He hated it when the Pirate Captain became persistent._

He hated it when the Pirate Captain was right.

            "Two years ago I asked Will if I had ever given him reason notto trust me, and I hadn't." Jack shut his eyes. He opened them seconds later and turned around. Bootstrap could feel Jack's eyes boring into the flesh on his back and screaming at his soul. "Its two years later, and I still _haven't… I told him you were a good man, William, with a good heart… Don't make me have given Will reason to no longer trust me." Elizabeth's eyes roamed back and forth between the two men. They stopped when she saw Bootstrap turn around. The older man walked to the door and, mindful of Elizabeth and Jack, pulled it open enough to get out and then walked up onto the deck of the Pearl. _

Jack gently pulled Elizabeth away from the door after reassuring her that Will would be alright and shut it; giving Will and his father at least some means of privacy.

*** * ***

            Bootstrap narrowed his eyes when he saw Barbossa standing in front of the Pearl's wheel. Jack was resting comfortably atop his shoulder, turning around in various directions every couple of seconds. He screeched when he saw Bootstrap and the man jumped. Barbossa, though, did nothing; merely quieted Jack down with a pat to the head and went back to steering the ship. 

Bootstrap rolled his eyes.

            He returned his gaze to his motionless son and slowly started to walk towards him, vaguely wondering if Barbossa even _knew that Will was there, being that the lad was as silent as the night sky. Bootstrap stood beside him and stole one last glance at Barbossa and Jack before resting his eyes on his son, whose face was still buried in his arms. He frowned and physically winced at the sting of guilt that struck his heart._

            "Will?" He called softly. When the lad didn't answer, didn't acknowledge his presence, Bootstrap kneeled down in front of him. "Will?" He called again, even softer this time, his tone barely above that of a whisper. Will rose his head and stared at his father with pained eyes and a resentful expression. Dry tears and dry pain covered his cheeks and more were filling his eyes, threatening to spill over. His look was broken, his eyes were scarred, his soul was wounded. 

Bootstrap's eyes roamed over his and the man wordlessly prayed that his soul was not beyond help.

            "What do you want?" Bootstrap frowned at Will's tone and said nothing. He just looked at him, at his eyes, at those tears that the younger man was trying so hard to hold back; trying _so _hard_ to appear okay, to appear unscathed. Both Bootstrap and Will knew that he was anything but. _

            "Will…" Bootstrap trailed off and sighed in aggravation. He ran a hand through his hair and shut his eyes. "Will," he started once more as he opened his eyes. He stared at his sons. "I just… I want to…" He sighed again. "Don't push me away, Will."

            "You pushed _me away," Will retorted, "so why shouldn't __I?" _

            "Because your mother raised you better than _that_… -You're a better man than me, Will, and you're far too kind to do that sort of thing, even to a bastard like me." Will said nothing. "I know that I have hurt you and I want to make up for it… I don't want you to feel pain anymore." Will shook his head.

            "Pain doesn't hurt when it's all you've ever felt."

            "Pain and hurt coincide, Will. Don't you _dare_ sit there and tell me that you are numb to them, because you_ aren't_. To feel them is a part of life, Will, it means that you are _alive… If you don't feel them, then you are _dead_… And you don't appear dead to me."_

            "Appearances can be deceiving." He narrowed his eyes at his father. "You of all people should know this."

            "So you're dead?"

            "You killed me."

            Bootstrap swallowed hard, not wanting to show that the words had hurt. Badly. "And you don't feel pain?"

            "You have numbed me."

            "So why are you crying then?" Will just looked at him, the expression in his eyes one that Bootstrap was not familiar with. They were indistinct. Will stood to his feet and pushed past his father, turning and walking in the direction of Jack's cabin.

He mutely cursed when Bootstrap grabbed his wrist and halted his attempts to run.

            Furiously he spun around, trying to pull his wrist free from his father's stronger, larger hand. "Let me _go!" Bootstrap said nothing as he grabbed Will's left wrist as well. Will growled angrily and pulled back from the older man; gasping unconsciously when he forcefully pulled him back towards him. The fingers around his wrists tightened even more. "You bastard!" He jumped backwards as a second attempt to catch his father off guard. It didn't work and Will snarled. "You __never cared about me, _dad_, you only did yourself!" Another futile effort and Will's anger only escalated. "I don't even know why I came out here looking for you; it's obvious that you don't give a damn about me! You have Jack," he jumped back again, "the bloody ocean," giving up on the jumping, he started to beat on his dad's left wrist with his right hand, "and your fucking freedom, why the blazes would you want _your_ __son?!" He beat harder. "You've proven to me that you _don't_ want me! You chose piracy over your child!" Bootstrap wasn't flinching and this only infuriated the blacksmith more. He wanted to cause his father pain; pain that his father had been causing him for all of his life. He started to hammer his fist onto his dad's wrist. "Over your life and your wife; you threw __everything away for the sea!" Will lunged forward suddenly, trying to knock his dad off guard that way. It proved just as abortive as lunging backwards had. Will furiously started to pound his fists into his dad's chest. "You _killed _mother! You didn't care, you __didn't…" Will trailed off and shook his head heatedly; the pounding quickening in speed and his tone deepening with hate. "You never _cared_!" The pounding gradually diminished, along with Will's livid shouts. The blacksmith stopped and looked at his fists before raising his eyes and looking his father in the eye. Will's eyes were full of uncertainty and his brow was scrunched up in pain. Guilt was washing over him like water would a boat in a dreadful storm and he could do nothing but stare at his father._

            "I cared, Will," Bootstrap whispered a few seconds later. He didn't let go of his sons' wrists. "And I _still do." Will dropped his eyes._

            "I didn't _want trinkets and letters, I didn't __want a merchant sailor, I didn't __want a pirate… -I didn't _want_ a good man, a bad man…I just wanted _you_," his eyes met with his fathers once again, only this time, they were overflowing with the pain that had been embedded on his forehead. The pain fell from his eyes in small streams and ran down his cheeks. "I wanted a __father, and you were never there, __dad… -You were _never ever_ _there_." _

            "I'll be there _now if you will let me. You're my son, Will, and I love you." Will shut his eyes tightly and frantically shook his head. He opened them once more and started to try to break his wrists free from his father once more._

This time, though, his shouts were laced with terror, not with hatred.

            "_No_!" He yelled. "I don't want to wake up; _don't_ make me _wake_ _up!" _

            "Will-"

            The blacksmith cut him off. "I _always wake up… I don't want to again… -I _can't_ again, don't make me! __Don't make me!" Bootstrap let go of his sons' wrists and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Will returned the gesture and Bootstrap gently lowered them down to the deck of the Pearl. "I _can't_ wake up again, _dad_… -I __can't…" _

            "You _won't."_

            "I always _do! In the _dreams_… -Every time I _touch_ __you!"_

            "You're touching me _now, Will." Bootstrap said softly and Will opened his eyes, warily looking around, readying himself for the slap that he knew he would feel within a matter of seconds. He felt nothing, No painful sting, no cackling yesterdays…-The only thing that he felt was his father's arms around him. The only thing that he heard was his father's words in his mind._

_"I'll be there **now if you will let me. You're my son, Will, and I love you."**_

Will tightened his hold around his father as his heart cried out twenty years worth of pain onto his shoulder.

Bootstrap held his son tightly, feeling his own eyes tearing up as well.

They had finally met.

**_To Be Continued…_**

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**AN: Finally! This chapter is _finished! Took three days to write and I edited and rewrote _several_ parts __several times. I tried my best at this chapter, and I hope that it doesn't suck. I apologize for it being so long!! By doing some basic math (that I needed to do for this chapter) I discovered that Jack was 32 in the first movie, and Will and Elizabeth were 18. Just thought I'd let ya'll know!_**

**I want to thank everyone who reviewed chapter ten. They were so kind that I found myself smiling like a moron every time I read one. I honestly have never received such kind reviews and it made me feel like I'm doing something right for once. So thanks, guys; it really does mean a lot. :)**

**We've missed 7 days 'cause of Isabel, that's why I've been able to update I think, two or three times.**

**I'll have chapter twelve up ASAP!**

**Please review on your way out! :)**

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_                        _


	12. Soon

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Twelve**

_            "Do ye think I'm jokin'?" He circled the woman as a predator would its prey. His sword was erect with the tilt dangerously close to the fragile skin on her neck. The woman said nothing and he chuckled. "I killed your **husband**, Mrs. Turner, what's in your head that's makin' you think that I won't do the same to you and your son?" _

_            "I won't let you hurt Will, Barbossa." Wren's tone was low and angry, poison dripping from the words like it would from a snake's fangs. She mutely wished that she could use that poison to kill this man with; pour it down his bloody throat and watch him writhe and die from. He killed William, he had **killed her ****husband! She'd be damned if she let him murder her son as well. "Do as you please with me, but I will not allow you to harm him." Livid as her tone was, as lethal as her words were, her eyes held grief, held pain, pain caused by the recognition that was slowly settling inside of her mind. **_

_Her husband was dead, he was gone, and he wouldn't be coming back._

_Wren hadn't said goodbye._

_Barbossa grinned._

_            "Ye know, Wren," he leisurely lowered his sword from her neck and she watched him warily. "You always** were** so incredibly daft; I think that's why you and your husband loved each other so much, you were both **so **fucking** stupid." Barbossa dropped his eyes from hers and ran his fingers across the smooth metal of his sword. "I've tried to negotiate the return of my medallion in exchange for you and your whelp's lives," she watched as he ran his finger lightly across the tilt, "and I've offered to make you and Will's deaths nice and fast so that you will not feel much. But," he rose his eyes back to hers and she uneasily met his gaze, "you have neglected both. Do not think for even one second that I've given up, Wren, that I'll soon show myself to the door and ne'er return. I came to get that medallion, Mrs. Turner, and I **will** get it." Wren never had a chance to react. **_

_In one swift movement, Barbossa had embedded his sword deep within her abdomen._

_The once shiny metal was now crimson._

_             When her mind had finally comprehended what had happened, when her body finally felt the metallic wetness that was oozing out from inside of her in streams, she could do nothing but stare at Barbossa with wide eyes that were full of ache. He withdrew his sword and she gasped as the coolness of the metal sent a chill down her spine. _

_Barbossa embedded it again in a different spot not even five seconds later._

_             "People are easy to search when they are dead." Wren stumbled back and hit the wall with a loud thump and shut her eyes tightly in pain. She opened them a few seconds later, looking, Barbossa thought, at him. _

_            Wren slowly started to slide down the wall onto the floor, leaving behind crimson pain on the wall. "Run." The hardly perceptible word barely made it from the clutches of her mouth as the woman fell forward onto the ground. Barbossa watched the scene with enjoyment. _

_He heard movement behind him and hastily turned around._

_The coin…-Will had the coin around his neck!_

_            Knowing full well that trying to make a dash for the door before the ten-year-old got out would prove futile, he brought back his arm and threw his sword, aiming for the back of Will's neck. Will stopped fiddling with the lock on the door when he heard metal hitting the wall beside him. He looked down at the sword and then at Barbossa and quickly broke the lock off and threw open the door; dashing down the street, away from his home, away from his mother, as if the devil himself was chasing him._

_Barbossa simply did nothing. They would meet again. _

_            Barbossa padded through the thin pond of blood that surrounded Wren and leaned down, snatching up his sword and sheathing it. He pulled the door open and started to make his way back to the __Pearl__._

*** * ***

            Jack Sparrow, William Turner and Wren Turner. Barbossa had killed all three twelve years ago.

Jack Sparrow had been left on an island with not but a single shot in a single pistol.

William Turner had been strapped to a cannon and chucked into Davy Jones' Locker.

Wren Turner had been stabbed twice through her stomach.

            All three were enough to kill.

Yet only _one had died._

            Not that this put a damper on his plans, not in any shape or form. What was the point in getting angry with the past? He would have other chances to kill William and Jack, Will and Elizabeth. One down, four to go was how he liked to look at it. Barbossa had murdered Wren, the first on his list, twelve years ago, and next he would murder William and then Jack, followed by Will. Elizabeth, though, he would hold onto for awhile. Being the governors' daughter, she was his key to vast riches, and, being a woman, she was his key to fulfill his lust. There was no need to get angry at mistakes in the past which he could correct rather easily in the present.

William.

Jack.

Will.

Elizabeth.

            Barbossa was not yet sure how he would go about killing each one. Perhaps a repeat of the past? William would not be able to survive a second dip into the sea, and it would prove awful painful to the other three to have to view. Especially number two and three.

William.

Jack.

Will.

Elizabeth.

            Jack would definitely be a repeat of the past. Barbossa would run his sword through Jack's abdomen and smile at the sound of tearing flesh as the tilt tore out of his back. This time there would be no surprises like there had been two years ago.

William.

Jack.

Will.

Elizabeth.

            The blacksmith's death was still undecided. Perhaps torture of some means? A crushing agonizing death like his father's? A painful bloody death like his best friend? Or maybe a combination of the two. That would prove highly entertaining, considering the fact that Elizabeth would witness it.

William.

Jack.

Will.

Elizabeth.

            Like Will, Barbossa was not sure how he would go about murdering the governors' daughter. Maybe after he and his crew were done with her, he would slit her throat and throw her over the side of the Pearl as food for all manner of sea creatures. He would have plenty of time to figure a way, considering that the woman's death would not come to pass for quite some time. 

William and Jack. Mr. Turner and Mr. Sparrow.

There were reasons why the two were the first two on his list.

Their deaths, without any question or hesitation, would be the worst and most hurtful out of any of the five. 

            Barbossa couldn't help but chuckle softly as Will and Bootstrap finally collected themselves enough to go back inside of Jack's cabin where he and Elizabeth were more than likely anxiously awaiting their return. Elizabeth Swann. Did the young lass not know that voices carry? Was she, for some reason or another, unaware of this particular fact? 

They would be at Isla de Muerta in about a day and a half. It was now Will's turn with the coin. When they reached the island, Jack would have the coin. 

Barbossa grinned.

Soon.

*** * ***

            The female pirate shook her. "Jack wouldn't do that, Commodore." Norrington raised an eyebrow and pressed his fingertips together.

            "_No_?" He questioned her. Anamaria just glared at the man as she tried to remember what it was that Gibbs had said that had made her agree to confronting the Commodore. "He's a _pirate_, Anamaria, pirates do _stuff like this."_

            "Well, not Jack, sir," she narrowed her eyes at the man, "he may be a _pirate_, but he's also a _good _man_, and a _good_ __man just wouldn't up and leave."_

            "How do you know?" He retorted. "You never really know someone, Anamaria, Jack could have very well done that."

_"Jack could be in trouble, Anamaria, we have to at least do **something**!"_

Ah yes, that's what Gibbs had said. 

She wordlessly cursed the day that she had met the pirate captain.

            "Jack _wouldn't _do that, Commodore, and if you never _really_ _know_ _someone, then why are you judging my captain?" He fell quiet and Anamaria sighed in slight frustration. Ever since Gillette had been murdered by a group of pirates at sea a year earlier, Norrington had frowned at every pirate that he came across. It was obvious that Gillette had been his friend and, in a way, Anamaria couldn't blame the Commodore for his behavior and change of heart towards pirates, she just wished that he could at least __try to see that Jack was different, that Jack wouldn't kill just for the sake of killing, just to feel another man's blood on his hands and to witness that blood on his sword. _

            "Then explain to me what happened to Miss. Swann and Mr. Turner, Anamaria." Anamaria rose her eyes back to him. "Tell me that the fact that them and the Pearl all disappearing on the same day was just a coincidence."

            "I never _said _that it was a _coincidence_, sir." 

            "So what would you call it then?"

_"Jack could be in trouble, Anamaria, we have to at least do **something**!"_

_            **Damn you Jack…**_ "I do not know, sir, all I know is that Jack would not abduct Miss. Elizabeth nor William Turner. They are his friend's sir, as he is theirs, he would _not do that. Something had to have happened." _

            Norrington shook his head slowly in confusion before resting his eyes once more on her. "Such as?..."

            "I don't know, Commodore, that's what I and the rest of Jack's crew were hopin' you could help us find out." Norrington sighed and rubbed his eyes with his fingers.

            "How am I to do that, Anamaria?" He stopped and looked at her. Anamaria slowly shook her head, eyes wandering anxiously along the edges of the desk that the Commodore was leaning against.

            "I don't know, but together, I'm sure that we can find them… -What do you have to lose, Commodore? Since Governor Swann is away, there's no real chance of him finding out that his daughter is missing, or," she narrowed his eyes at him, "that you are helping a pirate."

            Norrington shook his head and stood to his feet. He walked towards the door and reached out his hand as he turned around to glance at Anamaria. "Very well. Come prove to me that this was more than a coincidence then, Anamaria." The female pirate merely nodded and rose from her seat and followed the Commodore outside to where Gibbs was edgily waiting. The three then started off to where the Pearl had once been docked. 

**_To Be Continued…_**

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**AN: I hate school. I hate school. I hate school. I hate school. I have no time to write and it's really rather annoying. I'm sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but twelve was mainly just to fill in a few things, like, to show you what Anamaria and them are doing about Jack, Will and Elizabeth's sudden disappearance, what's running through Barbossa's head, and another part added to the flashbacks that Barbossa was remembering. Anymore added to it would have been over done because this was not meant to be a long chapter. Thirteen shall be the calm before the storm and fourteen will be when the big final fight scene thing starts. Most likely eighteen will be the last chapter, so yeah.**

**Thanks to everyone that has read and reviewed or just read!**

**I don't know when thirteen will be up but I will try to have it up ASAP!**

**Please review on your way out. :)**


	13. Is it Alright to Hope?

**Lord Knows I Can't Change **

**Chapter Thirteen**

_"So you're dead?"_

_"You killed me."_

_"And you don't feel pain?"_

_"You have numbed me."_

Bootstrap vaguely wondered if Will had seen his eyes. 

            They had apologized. They had held the apology that his voice could not; that his touch _could_ _not. That _he _could not muster up enough strength to show or to say._

His eyes had held it and his eyes had said it.

            Every being of Bootstrap's existence had physically trembled from the wave of emotion that had crashed over him with Will's agonizingly true words. He did not even know where to begin naming all of the emotions that had hit him… guilt, anger, sorrow, pain, remorse… and the list went on… and on… and on… _and on. He had had to fight the urge to raise his head to the sky and scream livid words at a God that had long ago turned against him, a God that had turned his back on him twelve years ago when he had let Barbossa murder his wife. A God that, not once, had given a damn about him, had been there. Not once._

Bootstrap's frown deepened as he realized that he must have been Will's God. Never _there, never __cared…-_

            Bootstrap had apologized and, judging from how the twenty-year-old had crumbled into his arms, Will had forgiven him.

Right?

_"Appearances can be deceiving. You of all people should know this."_

            "… -give Jack the coin?"

_Had_ Will seen his eyes?

            "Later tonight as we…-"

_Had_ Will forgiven him?

            "… -Barbossa finds out? Is there any chance that he already…-"

Appearances had been deceiving _so _many_ _bloody_ __times in the last twelve years… -Was Bootstrap to add this to the list as well?_

            "… -doubt it. How could he have found out?...-"

_"Appearances can be deceiving. You of all people should know this."_

Was he to add this to the list?! To that bloody God damned _list_?! 

            "Voices…-"

Was that what Will had meant?! That Bootstrap should _know_ that his son didn't forgive him, _could never_ forgive him?! 

            "… -seem to forget that."

_Fucking list..._

            "William?...-"

_…that damned bloody never ending...-_

Bootstrap jumped out of his thoughts with a start and looked over at Jack with a frown. "_What, Jack?" The pirate captain let his eyes roam over his best friends' and he let out a low sigh as he saw that the older man was trying to appear as though his little incident with Will hadn't hurt him, hadn't affected him in any way, shape or form. Judging from how Elizabeth had been somewhat annoyed with Will, the blacksmith had to have been doing the same exact act.  Jack didn't voice it. _

            "Our plan," he answered a few seconds later, "do you like our plan?"

            Bootstrap smiled apologetically and both Elizabeth and Jack frowned. Though Will and Bootstrap _had_ talked, things still weren't alright. "My apologies, Jack, would you mind repeating it?" The pirate captain rose an eyebrow but didn't protest.

            "We'll be at the island in about a day, _if_ _that." He shrugged. "This time tomorrow we should about be there and so Will is going to give me the coin sometime very early tomorrow morning. I'll have said coin when we reach the island. You and your son over here," he motioned to Will with his right hand, "will take on Barbossa as me and his rum burner," he motioned to Elizabeth with his left hand, "hold off the monkey. You two kill him either on the Pearl or on the island and make him bleed into the chest and whatever else and we'll go about killing the monkey from there. Elizabeth and I will be able to hold Jack off long enough for you and Will to kill the dead guy and to block the entrance to the cave, savvy?"_

            "Not like you to miss out on the big battle, Jack." Jack carefully rose his right arm and pointed out the crimson-stained cloth that was bound tightly around his shoulder. Lowering the arm, and wincing faintly as he jostled the wound, he held his right hand up to show the stained cloth that was there as well. 

            "I'm not a fool." He smirked and Bootstrap rose an eyebrow.

            "You can always fight switch."

            Jack shrugged. "Yeah, but I don't _like _fighting switch. Me left hand and I aren't as good as friends as me right." Bootstrap shook his head with a sigh and Jack laughed softly before returning his attention back to the matter at hand. "So, like our plan, or ye don't like our plan?"

            "I like it," the older man answered. "Sounds good enough, anyway. Besides, even if it isn't and we die, it'll be your fault." Jack frowned.

            "Glad to hear support, mate." The pirate's tone was dripping with sarcasm and the other three people in the small cabin couldn't help but chuckle. "Honestly, _Bootstrap, I wouldn't use the plan if I thought that we would die. If I wanted any of you to die, I'd do it myself." He grinned._

            "Oh, and so trading me in for the return of the Pearl two years ago is doing it yourself?" Jack's eyes snapped to Will and the blacksmith laughed at the pirate's shocked expression.

            "You were going to do _what_!?" Jack winced at Bootstrap's tone and lowered his eyes with a small sigh. He rose them a few seconds later and grinned sheepishly; golden teeth shimmering as he shrugged and cocked his head to the side. "Jack Sparrow! Honestly, a man's life for a ship?! _A ship?!"_

            "In my defense, it was more like a life for a life sort of thing, being that the Pearl is _my life_." He watched as Bootstrap crossed his arms. "Well, he hit me across the bloody head with an oar!" Bootstrap's eyes roamed over to Will and he rose an eyebrow.

            "You hit Jack with an oar?"

            "Only because he was going to trade me for his bloody ship! I had to do_ something! –That and he wouldn't let me rescue Elizabeth, he was just walking around funnily and mumbling about how he had never given me reason not to trust him." Will shrugged. "I didn't hit him _that_ hard."_

            "You knocked me out, whelp."

            "Only because you were going to trade me, pirate."

            "So? I damn well had right to after you and your little, 'I practice three hours a day so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!' speech."

            "One sentence is in no way a speech, Jack."

            "'You threatened Miss. Swann', 'I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates,'" Jack grinned toothily at Will's annoyed face. "They all tie together to form a speech, lad." 

            "Three sentences is not a speech either."

            "Shut it, eunuch."

            "Eunuch?" Bootstrap's voice broke their bickering and he looked back and forth between the pirate and the blacksmith. He laughed quietly and shook his head. "Jack, Will, please refrain from killing each other until later, alright? There are bigger issues to deal with right now." He rested his gaze on Jack. "I'll make it a point to ask you why the hell you were going to trade my son for your ship later on, Jack, don't think I won't." Jack crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

            "Sure, and don't even get _mad_ at Will for bonking me with an oar."

            "Jack, I think yours was a little bit worse."

            "He knocked me out and _left_ me on that bloody island with Barbossa! His is most definitely _not worse." Bootstrap covered Jack's mouth with his hand and turned back around to peer at his son and Elizabeth, who were both clearly amused._

            "It's getting late; we should sleep while we can. As soon as you wake up tomorrow, Will," he looked at the blacksmith, "be sure to give Jack the coin." The blacksmith nodded and briefly looked out of the window.

            "The sea seems a bit rough tonight," he slowly rested his eyes back on his father, "strange." Bootstrap shrugged and removed his hand from Jack's mouth. The pirate glared at him as he pushed himself up from the wall and started to walk over towards the chair that he had been using for a bed since he had given his to Will and Elizabeth. 

            "_Eunuch," he spat as he sat down. Bootstrap just laughed. Jack's eyes wandered over to Will. "Eunuch __Jr." Will rose an eyebrow at the pirate as Jack let his eyes roam to Elizabeth. "Rum burner." He turned his head away from his three friends and sank down into the chair. Bootstrap shook his head. Childish as their actions had been, and even as confused as it had left him, he was grateful that his son and his best friend had acted as they had. For just one second, he was not driving himself insane with whether or not Will had seen his eyes, with whether or not his son forgave him. _

Maybe, since their journey would end tomorrow evening and Barbossa would _finally_ _hopefully_ _die, Bootstrap would allow himself to think that Will had for just one night as he had allowed himself to for one second._

**_To Be Continued…_**

**AN: This chapter was a pain in the ass. I rewrote the beginning about twelve dozen times. Literally. Chapter 14 will be the beginning of the big final fight scene, which, more than likely, will be about 2-3 chapters long. After the fight scene is over, there will be two more chapters and that's it. Well, err, possibly three, but most likely not. I'm still guessing that 18 will be the last chapter, though.**

**I will try to update ASAP but, being that 14 will be longer than 12 and 13 and it will be a lot more involved, it might be a while. Start looking for it around Wednesday; it'll possibly be up then. But if not, it will be next Sunday or Saturday.**

**Please review on your way out! **


	14. Blood in the Storm

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Fourteen**

He missed her and he didn't know why.

            He had not missed her _any_ in the last ten years. Not one minute, not one _second, had been wasted for grieving over the past. Instead, he had planned the future. Planned Barbossa's death, planned the way in which he would find his son, planned his revenge against the Pearl's crew. All he had done was plan, not once had he frowned, not once had he cried, not once had he screamed why at a sky that would not shout back a response. Not once he hadn't, and it had been ten years._

He missed her now, though.

Maybe it had just taken ten years for him to accept and to face the uncouth mistress reality.

Bootstrap hated that mistress with a passion as thick as the world is round. 

The mistress had proven countless times over and countless times again that she was not overly fond of him either.

            He shifted his weight from his left leg to his right and let his hands hang unconsciously over the railing of the Pearl. He hadn't slept much, if at all, the night before. Half of the night had consisted of sitting and watching as his son, Elizabeth and his best friend slept. Memories and yesterdays eventually consumed him and he had spent the second half of the night reliving all that he had tried to put behind him. Jack's mutiny, his wife's death, his time spent with Davy Jones', his conversation with Will… -Everything that he had been foolish enough to believe that he was over. Bootstrap was slowly starting to believe that you weren't _meant_ to get over happenings along the lines of what he had been through. It just got different as time went on, _you_ got different as time went on, but you never really truly get _over_ it. 

Bootstrap didn't even know which incident held the most pain.

Jack's mutiny, his time spent with Davy Jones', his conversation with Will, his wife's death.

All of them had hurt.

And all of them _still hurt. He didn't know __why, didn't understand __why they still __hurt._

Jack was alive and well, he had broken free from Davy Jones', Will had hopefully forgiven him and his wife… -His wife…

She was dead. Murdered in cold blood. Wren had been killed ten years ago. _Ten bloody __years ago. _

            It was the past, though, as they all were. Jack's mutiny, his visit with Davy Jones', Wren's death, his and Will's conversation… -All of them were the past, were merely just yesterdays and memories, things that had happened a day ago, ten years ago and twelve years ago. Incidents that he should have been over, but he wasn't. Incidents that should not have hurt anymore, but they did. They were scars that had not faded with time. Wounds that still bled.

All because of Barbossa.

He had been the cause of each one. 

            The incidents were yesterdays and memories, but Barbossa was today and present. Perhaps _that_ was why they still hurt. The reason for their continuous ache had not been rid of.

He was still there. Salt to the wounds; rips to the scars. Barbossa was _still_ there!

Bootstrap sighed.

            "We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs, drink up me 'earties, yo ho." The words were simply yesterdays and memories that were escaping from his mouth and traveling to his eyes. Why was the sea blurry?... "We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot, drink up me 'earties, yo ho." It had been a decade since his wife's death, why start mourning now? What was the point in crying over yesterdays; at letting memories slowly turn your heart to ash? "We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot, drink up me 'earties, yo ho." There _wasn't_ a point, and Bootstrap knew that, he wasn't a fool, he _knew that. Why was the sea blurrier?... "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me." Or perhaps he __was a fool._

A decade. Ten years. Ten _bloody years. Not one tear, not one frown, not one __shout…_

In ten years. Not one, not once.

Reality was hitting him like a hammer to a nail.

            "I see you remember the song." Bootstrap shifted his weight from his right leg back to the left and said nothing. "Surprises me." The older man looked over at the pirate captain.

            "Why is that? I knew it before you and hell; I didn't even _know _you knew it." Jack shrugged his shoulders as he leaned against the railing as well, hissing slightly as he jostled his shoulder wound.

            "Rum Burner taught it to me. Now we can get drunk and sing it together." He looked over at the older man and grinned. "Won't that be delightful?" 

            Bootstrap smiled wryly. "Oh yes, Jack, I definitely fancy getting drunk and singing songs."

            "You should, William." Jack frowned and turned his eyes to the sea. "It's a part of being a pirate. Drunken songs and a lot of rum. And women." Bootstrap laughed softly at his friend and rested his eyes on the sea as well. It must have been morning by then, being that Jack was up, yet there were no oranges, reds, or yellows lying across the sea. The sky looked ominous and the sea seemed agitated. Bootstrap didn't like the way that she was rocking the Pearl either.

            "Eunuch Jr. and Rum Burner are awake, by the way," Jack said and Bootstrap nodded as his eyes roamed over the sky. It seemed to be growing darker by the minute. "He gave me the coin." Bootstrap nodded again and Jack rose an eyebrow at the man. "There's a mermaid down there with a crate of rum." Jack shook his head as Bootstrap's head merely bobbed up and down once more.  "What are you looking at, mate?"

            "The sky." 

            "_Why_?"

            "Look at it, Jack. It's dark… _really dark. It _is_ morning, correct?" He briefly looked at the pirate before resting his eyes back on the sky. He saw Jack nodding from the corner of his eye and sighed; slamming a fist down onto the railing of the ship. "_Shit_!" He yelled. "A _storm_! Just what we need!" _

            "Are you _sure_?!" Jack's eyes frantically scanned the sky for any sign that the older man was incorrect. 

There was none. 

The minor breeze that had been gently tossing around their hair that was growing in force didn't help.

            "Damn it!" Both men unconsciously cringed as the first crack of thunder rumbled menacingly in the distance. Lightening filled the sky with an almost blinding flash as rain began to pound down from the clouds with an intensity that made it sound more like guns being fired than like rain falling. The sea responded to the blows and soon the Pearl was dangerously rocking back and forth on the waves. Water spilled over the ship's railings and started to drench the deck. 

Bootstrap and Jack both stumbled, half from impact and half from shock, as a wave crashed into them.

            "We need to get back to your cabin, Jack!" Another crack of thunder erupted in the distance and an even brighter flash filled the sky. Seemingly annoyed by the loud noises, the rain beat down faster and harder. The angry sea continued to pound the Pearl with a fierce desire to sink her. Each wave held more intensity than the previous. "_Jack_!" Bootstrap cried out as the younger man lost his footing when a wave plummeted into him. He fell to the deck and the sea quickly sent him rolling opposite of the railing that Bootstrap was clinging onto. 

            "_Dad_!" Bootstrap's eyes ran from Jack to his son. Will grabbed hold of the cabin door as the remnants of a wave struck him. He stumbled before regaining his footing enough to look back at his dad with bright, frantic eyes. "You need to get back in here!" Angrier waves crashed into the ship as the sky roared and lit up in bright flashes. Bootstrap's hands slipped from off of the railing and the Pearl practically threw him across her and into Jack. The pirate captain gasped as the body smacked into him and he mechanically jumped at the impact. His left hand, which was clutched securely around his ship's railing, lost its hold and he went sliding down the deck as another strong wave grabbed hold of the Pearl. Bootstrap cried out something inaudible and wrapped his arm around the railing; snatching Jack's right hand as the pirate captain went sliding by him.

The pirate yelped in pain as the wound to his shoulder got torn open and blood poured out onto the already crimson cloth that was tied around it.

            "_William_!" Bootstrap rose his eyes from Jack to Elizabeth. Both the lass and Will fell to their feet as a wave hit the cabin head-on. The strength of it left the two sprawled out on the stairs that led to Jack's cabin. Will shook his head and climbed the last two stairs and ran onto the deck, immediately falling to his feet and falling to the right as the ship lurched again. It threw Elizabeth against the railing and she wrapped her arm around it, reaching out towards Will with her free hand. The ship reeled and she winced as she heard the pirate captain cry out when his wound got even more ripped open. "Will! _Quick_! My hand!" The blacksmith reached for his fiancés hand and gasped in shock as the ship threw him into her. 

Elizabeth screamed as both the force of the wave and of Will smacking into her pushed her off of the deck. 

            "_Elizabeth-"_

            "_Will_! Look _out!" Will's head snapped around when he heard Jack's voice and he gasped when he saw a huge board flying towards him. He quickly rolled out of its path and to the left of him where another wave rammed him into Jack. _

The pirate captain wrapped his arm around the boy's waist as he tried to roll back to Elizabeth.

            "I have to save Elizabeth!"

            "You'll fall _overboard_!"

            "I don't _care_!" Jack tightened his grip around him and Will growled, yelling various threats to the pirate and cursing as his kicking didn't loosen his grip. Elizabeth gradually started to pull herself back up and screamed again as a wave toppled over her and pulled one of her arms free from the railing. Bootstrap watched her.

She reminded him of Wren. Too young, too brave, too strong…-

Not old enough to die.

            Bootstrap shook his head and peered down at Jack and Will, his eyes holding a seriousness to them that they had not held in twelve years. "When I let go of your hand, Jack, you two are to _force yourselves down those stairs and into that cabin. Savvy?"_

            Jack looked at Bootstrap._ "_What_?" His tone was bewildered. "What the hell are you going to do, William?!"_

            "Don't worry about it, Jack! _Now _go_!"_

            "But dad-" Bootstrap said nothing as he let go of Jack's hand. Jack fell back against Will and the two rolled to the edge of the stairs, the swaying of the ship sending them down them with a series of bumps and off into the cabin. 

Jack hit against the table and Will was thrown against the wall. 

            The table fell on top of Jack before the Pearl sent it sliding off of him and towards where Will was. The blacksmith hurriedly got to his feet and jumped out of the way and landed beside Jack, nearly on top of him. They quickly got to their feet but were soon on the floor again as the waves moved around more of Jack's furniture in the tiny cabin.

The bed slammed into Will and he gasped in pain before trying to push the larger, heavier object away. 

Jack dodged the lantern that fell from the table beside his bed and shielded his eyes against the flying glass before running over and helping the blacksmith.

Bootstrap forcefully swung himself back to the right side of the ship where Elizabeth was clinging onto the railing. 

            An unforeseen wave sent him rolling further than he had initially intended and he gasped; grabbing at a cannon as some means to keep from sliding off of the deck. Grasping the cannon securely, and silently thanking God that someone had tied it to the railing, he reached to Elizabeth with his free hand and called for the lass to grab hold of it. Elizabeth stretched out her arm and snatched his hand just as the railing that she had been hanging onto collapsed. She threw her free arm over her head and hid her face the best she could as pieces of wood went tumbling over her and down into the sea. Bootstrap tugged at her hand and she looked back up and started to aid the man in his attempt to pull her back onto the deck. Once Bootstrap had her back on the ship, he threw the lass much in the same fashion he had Will and Jack and she went stumbling down the stairs. She hit Will and the two smacked into Jack. They hit the wall with a start and barely had enough time to cover their heads as a large wave broke the glass in the two windows that were in the small cabin.

The water rushed into the fallen table and slammed it into the door, effectively closing and jamming it shut.

Glass showered down over the three bodies as water continued to pour in from the busted windows.

            Will ran his hand across his forehead and grimaced when his fingers ran into a cut that the glass had probably created. He looked around the cabin and his eyes widened in fear.

William. Where was _William?!_

             "_Dad!" He hastily got to his feet and half ran, half stumbled through the water and practically ran into the door. Will shook it off and grabbed the handle as he tried to pull the door open._

It wouldn't budge.

            Bootstrap slowly started to use the cannon as a ladder so that he could thrust himself down the stairs as well. Inch by inch with wet hands streaked with blood and not even sure whose it was, he gradually started to make his way back onto the deck.

Suddenly the rope snapped in half and the cannon went rolling to the edge of the ship where the railing had been broken and washed away. 

            Bootstrap grabbed the end of the broken railing as the cannon went tumbling into the sea. A brutal wave jerked the rest of his body off of the deck and he tightened his grip around the railing. 

He winced as the wood dug into his hands. Blood slowly trickled down from his palms down the length of his arms.

             "Having difficulties?" Bootstrap's eyed snapped up as the voice broke the silence and his focus. He narrowed his eyes at the man and at the sword he was holding.

Barbossa had cut the rope that had kept the cannon tied to the railing.

            "You bloody _bastard_!" Bootstrap screamed in fury and Barbossa grinned. 

            "I always _did_ like to watch you struggle." He stumbled as another vast wave rocked the Pearl but somehow, unlike the rest of them, kept himself remaining upright. "It's so very entertaining. Reminds me of the look on Wren's face when I ran that sword through her heart." He laughed at Bootstrap's expression and at the unsuccessful attempt to pull himself back onto the Pearl. "I wonder if you bleed as Wren does." Bootstrap had no time to react. Barbossa threw his sword's tilt across Bootstrap's left hand and out of shock, the man let go, dangling by only his right hand with wood boring into it. Barbossa chuckled. "Nah, she was a little _more entertaining. Too bad. I shouldn't have killed her as quickly as I did."_

            "You fucking _traitor_!" More waves rocked the ship and Barbossa merely just stumbled once more. 

            "Now I feel bad. Bad pirate." He teasingly tapped his hand before grinning at Bootstrap once more. "Hate to cut this short, William, but Jack has something of mine that I'll be needin' back." Bootstrap's eyes widened. "Should be fairly easy to get. People are easy to search when they are dead, you see."

            "Don't you _dare_ hurt him, Barbossa, none of _them!" Barbossa chuckled._

            "You forget _yourself_, William Turner, because, _this_ _time, you can die." Barbossa slid the tilt of his sword across Bootstrap's right hand and the man fell._

Bootstrap's screams and voice were cut off by the sea. 

Barbossa grinned.

*** * ***

            Jack's shoulder was saturated with blood as he, Will and Elizabeth threw their weight into the door once more, hoping that by now, it would budge and they would be able to get out. It had been about an hour and in that time, the storm had calmed down, and Bootstrap had not shone up. Jack was numb to the pain that was searing through his shoulder, as Will and Elizabeth were to the various cuts and scrapes that they had earned.

 None of them were numb to Bootstrap missing, though.

            With a loud crack the door gave way and collapsed, the three falling forward and landing atop one another. Jack got to his feet first and ran onto the deck of his destroyed ship. Bits of wood and pieces of God only knew what else were thrown around the deck and the railing, in certain spots on both the left side and right side of the Pearl, were no more. Jack was surprised that she was still floating.

He shook his head as he walked out further on the deck.

            Will and Elizabeth ran up the stairs to the helm in an anxious attempt to find the missing man. He was no where in sight.

Jack heard Will as the lad cursed piercingly and slammed his fist on the Pearl's wheel.

            Jack said nothing as he walked to the right side of the ship where a vast chunk of the railing had been torn away. Jostling his injured shoulder caused more blood to leak out and the crimson drops fell downward and hit the sea with an eerie silence. Jack knew that eerie silence.

Blood and water. Twelve years ago.

Bootstrap had fallen overboard.

            Jack backed away from the sea as if she had threatened him and fell to his knees in, what he thought, after twelve years, was defeat. Complete and utter defeat.

Bootstrap had fallen overboard. His best friend was gone.

And this time, he could not come back.

**_To Be Continued…_**

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**AN: Cliff hanger! I think. Sort of. So, this was part one of the three part big fat final fight scene. I tried my hardest at the action and I'm sorry if it's not written well. **

**Also, if you're thinking, "How could a storm come up that quickly?" check chapter 13 again. At the end of the chapter I had Will say something that hinted that a storm was coming, and it was: "The sea seems a bit rough tonight," he slowly rested his eyes back on his father, "strange." So yes.**

**Also, I did a bit of research and if a storm was strong enough, it could very well damage a ship as I described.**

**Chapter fourteen will be up ASAP! Check for it around Saturday night/Sunday. And I'm still guessing eighteen'll be the last one.**

**Please review on your way out! :)******

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	15. Denial

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Fifteen**

Will looked up from the wheel when he heard the pirate fall.

His face and his body told Will what the blacksmith already knew, but had been denying with every ounce of his being.

William was gone.

Will barely felt the swell of pain that was gradually traveling from his heart to every nerve in every inch of his body.

His father was dead.

            Elizabeth turned away from the sea and unhurriedly made her way back to the deck.

Will watched her through blurry eyes.

            Her fingertips lightly brushed over the edge of the railing that Bootstrap had rescued her from. She rose her hand to her eyes and studied her fingers before slowly lowering her arm back to her side and resting her eyes on the sea.

Bootstrap had fallen overboard.

Elizabeth had killed him.

            "It's not your fault." Elizabeth's head snapped around when she heard the pirate captain's voice. Jack's head was bowed and he still sat in the same position he had since discovering Bootstrap to be gone. "Don't be blammin' yourself, Miss. Swann. Ye did not murder William." 

_Murder_ William. William was _dead._

Will lowered his eyes and shut them tightly.

It _hurt…_

            Elizabeth shook her head. "He died because he rescued _me, Jack," she dropped her eyes from the pirate to the Pearl's worn deck. "_I_ killed him."_

            "And how exactly did you? You were in the cabin with Will and I. You are not responsible for his death, Elizabeth." 

His _death._

Will squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.

Oh God, it bloody _ached..._

            "How did I?!" She repeated in an incredulous tone as she looked back at the pirate, angrily blinking the blurriness away. "He fell overboard because he was foolish enough to rescue me! I killed him, Jack!" Jack slowly rose his head and his eyes locked with hers. 

The evident fury laid across her face slowly diminished.

Jack's eyes had tears in them. 

A pirate's eyes were crying.

            "William _saved _you, Elizabeth Swann." Elizabeth was not familiar with this side of Captain Jack Sparrow. The pirate had never appeared as the type that would _feel the pain caused by the death of a loved one. _

His tears were pain, and that pain was threatening to spill from his eyes.

Pirate captain or not, tears were human, and Jack was human. He was not immune to feeling.

            "_Saved_ _you and __threw you in my cabin where you were greeted by a wave that __jammed the bloody door __shut! Exactly __how did you kill him, Elizabeth, __how did you push him off of this ship?!" Elizabeth opened her mouth in hopes of some form of logical response, but all that came out was a low sigh. Jack was right._

_Kill _him.

Will vaguely wondered if the pain he was feeling was the kind that you felt while dying.

Perhaps he was dying.

            "Is there any chance that he's still…-" Elizabeth trailed off as she turned back around and let her eyes roam over the sea. "Still…-"

            "No." Pain laced the word that left Jack's mouth and Elizabeth had to shut her eyes to keep her tears from winning. "The waves were just too large, too _frequent_… -He either drowned or was crushed by the Pearl. William is dead, Elizabeth."

William is _dead. Dead and forever coincided. _

If Will was not to die, then would he be dying everyday for the rest of his life? Every day his nerves would tingle? His heart would stop beating? His breath would catch in his throat?

Death and forever coincided.

Will would be dying everyday for the rest of his life.

            "What if he, like, _latched onto _the ship, Jack?" Elizabeth's tone held an optimistic hope that her eyes did not. "Say the window to the brig? -Those waves _were_ tall enough to aid him in reaching it… -He could have grabbed on, Jack…" Her voice quieted as Jack slowly shook his head.

            "William is dead, Elizabeth." The words hurt to say, to even _think. His throat and tongue were bleeding from having said them twice now. "Stop being a simpleton." _

             "I'm not _being a simpleton, Jack Sparrow! It's called having hope, Jack, it's called not giving up!"_

            "Your words are no incentive for me to _hope, Miss. Swann. __Hope is wasted on the weak, on those who spend their bloody lives __hoping that one day the person missing will _magically _pop back up and be alright, Elizabeth, be fucking _unscathed_!" Elizabeth couldn't decide if Jack's words held more anger than they did pain. "William is _dead_, Elizabeth, he is bloody _dead_!...-" Jack bowed his head once more. "He's __dead, he's __gone." Pain. They held more pain. "And he can't come back this time, Miss. Swann, _don't_ waste your strength _hoping _for the unfeasible." Elizabeth said nothing. What was there to say even if she __could find her voice? Hoping for the dead to come back was like hoping to live a life isolated of pain. Neither could be done. _

Bootstrap _couldn't be __gone! He _couldn't _be __dead! Will had just __met him; his father had _just_ become part of his life!_

God would not take him away; God _could not _take him away!

It hurt, oh God, _it hurt!... –Everything tingled and everything ached and his mind was spinning and his heart was pounding and his breath was diminishing…-_

            "You _can't _be _gone!" Both the governor's daughter and the pirate captain turned their heads to Will when the blacksmith's voice broke the deafening silence that had settled on the Pearl. "You fucking _liar_! You said that you'd be here, dad, you _promised _to be here if I would let you, and I was going to __let you! God damn you you stupid blighter, __I was going to let you!" Jack lowered his head in an attempt to block his friend's painful, agitated cries. One of his friends had already been killed; he couldn't listen as another one died. Will furiously kicked at the side of the helm and stormed down the stairs. He locked his eyes on Jack's fallen form. "Oh, so you've given up then, Jack?" Jack said nothing and Will rolled his eyes. "You're a __pirate, Jack, you _mean_ death and your _career_ is death… -Yet you're crying at _death_? Letting death _defeat_ you?!"_

            "Will-"

            He spun around when he heard Elizabeth's voice. "And let me guess, you've given up as well, eh?" Elizabeth lowered the hand that she had extended back to her side and said nothing. Will laughed softly. "You've both _given up. After my father saved both of your asses a thousand times, you can't even repay the favor _once_." Both Elizabeth and Jack remained silent and Will held his hands up in front of him as if he were telling somebody to halt. "He's __not dead; my father is _not _a victim to Davy Jones'!" The lad spoke the words through clenched teeth. "You two give the hell up, I don't _care_, but I'll _find _him, I swear that I'll __find him!" Will let his eyes roam over Jack's solemn form and Elizabeth's sympathetic eyes one last time before turning on his heel._

The blacksmith promptly ran into Barbossa.

            Will stumbled back a few inches due to the direct impact and rose his eyes to the man's. "What do you want?" His voice was cold and his tone was wounded.

Bootstrap had to keep himself from grinning.

This would be easier than he had originally thought.

            "It's William." Will's eyes seemed to lose some of their fury at the mention of his father's name. 

            "What about him?"

            "He fell overboard, Will… -I tried to save him, but _couldn't. The waves were just too strong and… -He's still alive, Will, can't you hear him shouting for your help?" Will dropped his eyes from the older man and turned them towards the sea. "He needs your help, William Turner." Will looked back at Barbossa. "Won't you help your daddy?" Elizabeth watched the scene in disbelief. Barbossa had __murdered Wren and had __tried __to mostly everyone _else_ that Will knew and cared for, including _himself_._

Why the blazes was Will trusting the word of a cold blooded killer?

            "William's dead, Barbossa." Barbossa's eyes shifted to Elizabeth and he watched as she wrapped her hand around Will's wrist and pulled the older man away from him. "You know that." 

            "Your fiancé is keeping you from rescuing your daddy, William?" His eyes never left Elizabeth's. Will looked down at the hand that was wrapped around his wrist and shook his head as a baffled child would to its parents.

            "I don't know," he answered softly. Truth be told, he really _didn't_ know. He wasn't even sure whether Bootstrap was alive or dead.

Elizabeth stared at the blacksmith in utter shock.

He was trusting a cold blooded killer more than he was his fiancé. More than he was his _friends._

            "He's calling for your help, Will, are you going to allow Elizabeth to keep you from answering his pleas?" Elizabeth released Will's wrist and in one swift motion had her hands on his shoulders and had turned him towards her.

            "Will, he's _lying_, alright?" Her eyes roamed over her fiancés. "William is… -Barbossa is _lying." Elizabeth searched his eyes for any sign that the blacksmith was comprehending what she was saying. There was none._

Will was in total denial. 

            "You and Jack gave up." His voice was hard as ice and as sharp as glass. Elizabeth vaguely wondered why the words had not cut her face.

            "No, Will, no we _didn't." Tears filled Elizabeth's eyes as she ran her fingers through Will's hair. "Your father died, Will, Barbossa is _lying_… -We aren't. Jack and I, we _aren't_." Will allowed his eyes to roam over Elizabeth's for a brief second before he met her gaze._

He forcefully pushed the lass down to the deck of the Pearl.

            "My father is _not _dead, Elizabeth! You and Jack just gave up! _You're lying!" Elizabeth said nothing as she pushed herself into a sitting position and stared at the blacksmith, her expression one of pain whilst her eyes could not be described. Too many emotions hidden behind a wall of tears. "I hear him calling," he didn't break his eyes away from hers, "and I'm not like him, I __won't ignore it, Elizabeth." Will turned back to Barbossa and the older man raised an eyebrow. "Show me to where he is, Barbossa." Barbossa nodded and tried to hide the grin that wanted desperately to form on his frowning mouth. Turning, he signaled for the lad to follow him with his right hand before turning his head and slowly walking away. _

A hand on Will's wrist halted the blacksmith's steps.

Will turned around and came face to face with his best friend.

            "Thought you had given up." Will said dryly and Jack did nothing. Will rose an eyebrow at the man. "What do you want, Jack?"

            "You believe Barbossa." Was the pirate captain's simple response and Will shook his head faintly, his eyes never leaving his best friends.

            "_And_…?"

            "And you're not a simpleton, William Turner, you yourself told me this two years ago and I believed you." Jack's eyes were cold and Will found himself unconsciously rather nervous. Friend or not, Jack was _still_ a pirate, and was quite capable of hurting him. "You believe Barbossa. You believe the man that killed your mother."

            "Jack, what are you get-"

            "The man that tried to murder you, tried to murder Elizabeth. The man that marooned me and dumped your father into the sea. You believe his words." Will said nothing. "Barbossa _hates you, Will, as he does __all of us, which __includes dear William… -And yet you believe his words, you believe that he _tried _to __save William when all of his life he has wanted nothing more than to _kill him_." Jack let go of Will's wrist. "You're not a simpleton, Will; you know damn well that he pushed William off of this ship. _You _know __that, Will. Don't let your pain cloud your mind as Barbossa let his greed cloud his. You see where it led him, Will, who's to say similar fortunes won't happen to you?" Elizabeth stood to her feet behind Jack and walked over to the pirate and the blacksmith. Her eyes went from Jack to Will and she set her gaze on him. The lad dropped his eyes from Jack and he backed away, turning on his heel as he started off to where Barbossa had been. Elizabeth stole a quick glance at Jack before following her fiancé, hoping to somehow make him understand that Barbossa was lying, that Bootstrap was dead, that Elizabeth and Jack were telling him the __truth._

Will reached the area Barbossa had walked to a few seconds later and frowned. He wasn't there. 

            Will and Elizabeth turned around with a start when they heard what sounded like either Jack's or Barbossa's pistol slamming into something. Jack stumbled and raised his hands to his head in evident pain. Swaying harder, the pirate captain nearly fell and was caught just before he hit the deck.

Barbossa held him upright with his arm around his neck and his pistol, cocked and loaded, pointed to the side of Jack's throbbing head.

Will and Elizabeth froze.

**_To Be Continued…_**

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**AN: Don't kill me! Please don't kill me! If you kill me I won't be able to continue and you won't know what happens next so mleh! This was the second part in the three part final fight scene. Sixteen shall end it all. As of now, eighteen is definitely going to be the last chapter. I will post replies to all of my reviewers and everyone else that has helped me in some way with this story as a chapter nineteen. A sequel is already in the works, and it already has a title, which is Do I Have To Cry For You?, so yes. **

**I will have sixteen up ASAP! Look for it around Sundayish, possibly late Saturday night. I don't know. Sixteen (I don't think) will be all that long, but it will be involved, so shrug. I'm also going to be editing earlier chapters of this story. Correcting various typos and what not. **

**Thanks to everyone that has read and reviewed or just read.**

**Please review on your way out! :)**


	16. Twelve Years Later

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Sixteen**

            "Find your daddy yet, dear William?" Will watched as Barbossa tightened the arm that he had wrapped around Jack's neck and mutely reminded himself that Barbossa was cursed. "Certainly you have not given up… -Or _have_ you, William Turner? Have ye given up?" Will was dimly aware of the hand that had wrapped itself around his wrist in an effort to keep the blacksmith from lunging forward and trying to hurt a man that could not be killed.

            "You lying bastard." The hand tightened its strong grip. "You cold-hearted lying _bastard_!" Barbossa chuckled.

            "Don't dare impugn me, William Turner, for I am not the one to be blamed here, now am I?" Will was sure that, if Elizabeth had not been holding onto his wrist, he would have committed a drastic futile act that would only result in some form of pain for him. 

            "You lied, Barbossa. You _are the guilty one." _

            "Yes, I _did_ lie, and you helped me to _finish_ my lie." Will narrowed his eyes in confusion. "My words, William Turner, you believed my words and you ignored your acquaintances. _You are the one that was lying, William, believing me and believing that your father was still alive. Bootstrap is dead, let me assure you." Barbossa grinned even as he was speaking the words. Two down and three to go. "So, in actuality, _you_ are the lying bastard, William Turner, not I." _

_"You're not a simpleton, Will; you know damn well that he pushed William off of this ship. **You** **know** **that, Will. Don't let your pain cloud your mind as Barbossa let his greed cloud his. You see where it led him, Will, who's to say similar fortunes won't happen to you?"**_

Will was the one to break his and Barbossa's stare.

            "Let Jack go, Barbossa." Will rose his eyes back to Barbossa when he heard Elizabeth's voice. The older man smiled.

            "Now, lass, why would I be wantin' to do a thing like that? Jack has something of mine, Jack is a thief, and thieves deserve punishment, no?" Elizabeth's eyes widened and she could feel her mouth opening faintly in shock.

Barbossa knew that Jack had his coin.

            "So I'll be taking back what's mine and then punishing the thief with pity on you two."

            "What?" She questioned.

            "I could very well pull this trigger right here and allow you to watch your friend die, but I won't." He grinned. "That is a moment that I want to savior alone." 

            "We won't let you kill him, Barbossa." Barbossa was unfazed by the girls' words. The arm that was wrapped around Jack's neck snaked down to the man's pocket and he pulled out the cursed coin. He reached down beside him, pulling Jack along with him, and snatched up some rope that lay sprawled out by his feet. Throwing the rope at Will, and shutting his hand securely around the coin, he wrapped his arm around Jack's neck again and watched Will and Elizabeth's confused faces with delight. 

            "I never said that I _wouldn't _kill him in front of you two."

            "What the hell are you getting at?" Will looked up from the rope to the man and had to keep from charging forward when he saw that deceptive smirk playing across his lips.

            "Because, unlike you, dear William, I am no simpleton and _believe _you when you say that you won't allow me to kill Jack, and so, being that you won't _allow me to kill him, you two will willingly tie yourselves together and then let me tie you to the railing to assure that you won't __allow me to kill him. And if you don't," his smirk grew, "then you're _allowing _me to kill him and I'll do so rather quickly and in front of you. Savvy?" Will dropped his eyes from Barbossa to the pirate captain and frowned. Jack looked out of it, looked as if he would fall unconscious any second. There was no way that the pirate would be able to defend himself in his current condition. Barbossa would be able to kill him effortlessly._

He turned around to Elizabeth and started to tie her wrists together with the rope.

Elizabeth didn't protest. Will figured that she must have glanced at their friend at some point as well.

A few seconds later it was Elizabeth's turn to tie the blacksmith's wrists together.

Soon both were bound by the wrists and glaring at Barbossa.

            He pushed Jack forward. "Tie them together." When the pirate didn't move, clearly refusing to bind his friends, Barbossa pulled the trigger on his pistol and a bullet went soaring between Will and Elizabeth. "Next time I won't miss, Jack." He pushed him forward again and Jack said nothing as his clumsy hands went about looping the rope through and out of the ropes that already bound their wrists together. He soon had the two tied together and Barbossa pulled him back before pushing them down onto the deck. Barbossa leaned down and took what remained of the rope and looped it over the railing of the Pearl a few times before tying a knot tightly and effectively trapping Elizabeth and Will.

            "I thank you kindly for your cooperation. Now, if you excuse me, I have business to attain to."  Ignoring the fuming shouts and threats, Barbossa turned on his heel and dragged the pirate captain to the smaller boat that was attached to the right side of the Pearl.

Barbossa smiled when he saw Isle de Muerta in the distance. 

Two down and three to go. 

*** * ***

Jack winced when he felt fresh blood seeping out of the wound to his shoulder.

Having rammed it into a thick wooden door for an hour and now having to row a boat was not helping.

            Jack vaguely wondered how he could even _row the boat as effectively as he had been._

The pistol pointed to the back of his head probably had something to do with it.

            He didn't even really remember all that had happened. All he knew was that Barbossa had murdered his best friend and had made him tie together two other vital people in his life. Now he was holding his pistol to the back of his head and forcing him to row him to the shore of Isle de Muerta where he would murder him and then more than likely break himself free of the curses clutches. 

Jack did not even want to begin thinking about what the man had in store for Elizabeth and Will.

            "I must admit, Jack, I'll miss you. You are fun to bat around."

            "Not goin' 'where." Barbossa chuckled and for a split second Jack was nearly positive that the sound would make him sick to his stomach.

            "You can barely speak, Captain Jack Sparrow, exactly how do you plan to escape?"

            "Answers in the question, mate." 

             "Indeed, Jack, indeed." Jack frowned at the man's reply and rested his eyes on the water. Was he to die like this? Die in a dual because of two gashes and a bump on the head? He had a friend's death to avenge. He had two other friends' to save. He had a ship to captain and a horizon to chase. 

No, he was _not to die like this._

Captain Jack Sparrow and death would not be acquainted today.

            The small boat hit land with a soft thud. "Ready, Jack?" Jack threw aside one of the oars and turned around with the other. He threw his weight into the smack that connected with Barbossa's head and then pushed the man out of the boat. Jack got to his feet and jumped over him and landed, with a minor sway, a few inches in front of him. 

            He watched as Barbossa got to his feet and unsheathed his sword. "No, I'm not." He answered with a small smile.

            "You can't beat me, Jack." 

            "And you can't beat me, Barbossa." Barbossa growled and lunged forward. Jack blocked his sword with the oar and started to steadily work his way back to where the chest was. The older man side-stepped and Jack hurriedly jumped to his left just as Barbossa's sword met the air where the pirate had been. A gleam caught the pirate captain's eye and Jack looked down at Barbossa's left hand.

He was holding the coin. 

            Looking back at Barbossa, he hastily brought the oar back up and blocked another blow from his sword. He slammed the oar into Barbossa's left arm in an attempt to make him drop the coin, but the man only tightened his hold. 

            "Like I said, Jack, ye can't beat me." His sword connected with the oar once more and Jack ignored the fact that, within a few more blows, it would snap in two and he would be weaponless. 

            "And like _I_ said, you can't beat me." Jack kicked at the other man to distract him as he slammed the oar into his left arm again. His hold didn't budge. Angrily, Barbossa rose his sword and slammed it down onto the oar. It quickly broke in two and Jack jumped backwards as Barbossa tried to ram his sword at the pirate. He landed on his back and rolled to his right and snatched up a piece of the broken oar. He dodged Barbossa's sword as he got to his feet and embedded the object in the older man's abdomen. 

            Barbossa sighed in irritation. "When will you learn, Jack?" Barbossa pulled out the blood covered wood and hurled it at the pirate captain. Jack gasped softly and ducked as the wood went flying by. He jogged forward and rammed his fist down onto the hand that held the sword and Barbossa mechanically dropped it. As he was leaning down to get it, Jack lunged at him and grabbed his left arm, trying desperately to get to the coin. The wood had his blood on it and if Jack could just _get_ the coin he could easily rub it against the wood and return it to the chest, thus breaking the curse and being able to kill Barbossa once and for all.

The sharp pain in his leg caught the pirate captain completely off guard.

Barbossa removed his sword from Jack's leg and pushed the man down against the chest. 

            He rose his sword and held the tilt to Jack's throat. "Well, Captain Jack Sparrow, isn't this interesting?" Jack winced when Barbossa's monkey screeched from the chest where he had been sitting throughout their fight. "So very interesting." Barbossa rose his arm as he prepared to pierce the pirate's throat and kill number three on his list. "Like I said, Jack, I'll miss ye." Jack closed his eyes…-

And abruptly opened them when he heard the older man gasp.

A sword had been lunged through Barbossa's left side and the tilt had run clear through.

Out of shock, Barbossa dropped his coin and it landed in the chest next to Jack.

Barbossa turned around and narrowed his eyes before turning back around to reclaim his coin.

His eyes widened.

Blood was dripping from the tilt of the sword.

A drop had landed on the coin.

By blood begun, by blood undone.

            Bootstrap smiled at the man. "See you in hell, Barbossa." Pain washed over Barbossa's body and he fell into the chest on top of Jack. The monkey screeched as Barbossa's dead weight crushed him. 

Bootstrap had run a sword through Barbossa's heart. 

            A small gasp drew his attention to Jack and the older man ran to his friends' side. "Jack! Are you alright?" He helped the pirate captain into a sitting position and Jack looked over at him.

            "Can you _not_ die?" 

            Bootstrap grinned. "Hell keeps spitting me back out." The hug that the younger man embraced him in caught Bootstrap off guard. None the less, he tightly returned the gesture. He pulled away when he felt Jack wince and looked at his leg. "Did he stab you?"

            "Slashed." Jack answered dryly. "He has this thing with slashing. Help me up?" Bootstrap nodded and helped his friend up, automatically wrapping his arm around him and letting him lean against him, knowing that the younger man's pride would keep him from doing it on his own. "Come on, we have to untie your son and his rum burner." 

            Bootstrap rose an eyebrow. "_Untie?... –Never mind, I don't want to know." Jack laughed softly and watched as Bootstrap walked back to the chest and rolled Barbossa off of it. He hit the ground with a thud and then fell silent. _

Bootstrap pushed the lid onto the chest.

Wrapping his arm back around his friend, the two slowly made their way back to the Pearl.

**_To Be Continued…_**

****

**AN: Yey! Barbossa's dead! Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one and I hope the fight scene between Barbossa and Jack was okay. Two more chapters to go and we shall be finished and then, of course, a sequel. Look for chapter seventeen around Wednesday. It shall explain how Bootstrap survived and got to Isle de Muerta, don't worry.**

**Thanks to everyone that has read and reviewed or just read!**

**Please review on your way out. :)**


	17. Choices

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Seventeen**

It brought back memories standing at the wheel of the Pearl and escorting her to the horizon. 

            Adventure lay beyond that horizon. A nonchalant life outlined with freedom. A pirate's life sat within reach of that golden, shimmering line. A life he had thrown away twenty years ago stood on the deck with his back to him.

The latter of the two wasn't as appeasing as the first.

            Who was he to blame for that anyway? Bootstrap had chosen the sea over his son and his wife twenty years ago. Who _was to blame other than _himself_? He had made his choice with full knowledge of every single consequence that could come into play and had left with a simple kiss and goodbye. He never thought for even one second that he would be gone for twenty years, though. Five, maybe ten, but not twenty. _

Bootstrap had been running from that life for twenty years.

After two decades, wasn't it too late to go back?

His hands didn't turn the wheel even though his mind was screaming at them to.

            Bootstrap looked away from the horizon and rested his eyes on what he had thrown away. The lad was leaning against the non-damaged part of the Pearl's railing in obvious thought. His eyes were resting on the sea and his hands were clasped together. He was also silent and Bootstrap sighed at that. Will had not said a word since he and Jack had untied Elizabeth and him a few hours prier. Bootstrap shut his eyes and opened them on the horizon.

A nonchalant life outlined with freedom.

A cold past outlined with crimson and regret.

            Bootstrap's hands wandered to the right of the wheel and cut threw the air above it in a flirtatious manner. The will to turn the ship and sail to that horizon was growing larger with each pulse of his battered heart. He let his arms fall to his sides as he turned his head to the horizon once more.

A nonchalant life outlined with freedom.

A cold past outlined with crimson and regret.

            Bootstrap noted with a slight nod that the sea was calm and that she would allow him a few minutes away from the Pearl's wheel without sending her off course. He walked past the wheel and down the few steps that led you back down onto the deck and started to gradually make his way towards his son.

            "Hi." His sudden presence surprised the blacksmith and he jumped in response, peering over at Bootstrap as the older man leaned against the railing as well. He smiled. "A little jumpy?"

            Will shrugged. "You startled me is all. I wasn't really expecting you to talk to me." He paused. "Where's Jack?" He asked as he turned back to the sea. Bootstrap frowned at the loss of eye contact but didn't press the matter.

            "He reclaimed his bed and fell asleep."

            "How badly did Barbossa get his leg?"

            Bootstrap shrugged. "Not too terribly. Bad enough, though, that he can't really walk on his own right now, probably won't be able to for a while."

            "He's stubborn, though," Will grinned, "and he's Captain Jack Sparrow. He'll be walking around by himself this time tomorrow."  Bootstrap chuckled softly and nodded in agreement.

            "Jack is _indeed_ stubborn, but he's a good man. His good qualities make up for the bad ones." 

            "So I've come to learn," Will answered. Silence swallowed their voices and Will sighed. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Bootstrap felt more than at home aboard the Pearl. He craved freedom and the sea nearly as much as Jack did. Will knew without a doubt that the older man wanted nothing more than to sail off into that beckoning horizon and continue to run as he had for the last twenty years. Who was to blame him? A pirate's life was one of freedom. No laws and rules to hold you back from life, no authority figures to scorn you for your actions and doings. It was any man's dream to live a life nonchalant and free aboard a ship sailing into horizon after horizon through the beautiful water that was the Caribbean. 

Will couldn't help but wonder if now, after twenty years, that dream finally included him.

            "You seem to be at home up there," Will glanced over at his father and noted with a frown that the man's eyes were resting on the horizon. "On the helm I mean." 

            "It brings back memories, is all." His eyes didn't leave the shimmering line. "The Pearl used to be mine." Will's brow furrowed in confusion and he shook his head faintly from side to side.

            "I didn't know that. Jack never mentioned it. Now I know why he was willing to trade me to get it back, though. His best friend gave him it." Bootstrap nodded.

            "He was about eighteen when I did. Too young to be captain, really, but," he shrugged. "He loved the Pearl far more than I ever did or could. It was a gift to him." Bootstrap's eyes seemed older than they had a few seconds earlier. "The crew objected, of course, that's why he got marooned. In the words of Barbossa, he was too young and too naïve. Marooned him four years later." 

            "How did Barbossa even become part of the crew?"

            Bootstrap shrugged again. "We picked him up in Tortuga when Jack was about twenty, twenty one, one of them. Him and two others, Pintel and Bo'sun. At the time, they seemed like relatively good men."

            "But they weren't," Will said and Bootstrap nodded.

            "None of the crew was, minus Jack and me. They were nothing but mutineers and betrayers." Silence settled on the deck and Will wordlessly cursed at its presence. How does a man choose between his son and his best friend? Between a life of freedom and a life of authority? Will figured the way that he had twenty years ago.

The way that he most likely would again.

            "What are you going to do?" The question startled Bootstrap out of his thoughts and he blinked and peered over at his son. 

            "What?"

            "I asked what you are going to do," Will repeated as he turned his eyes to meet his fathers. Bootstrap rose an eyebrow.

            "What do you mean, Will?" 

            "Are you going to stay with Jack aboard the Pearl, or come back home to Port Royale with me?" Will wasn't surprised in the least bit when the older man immediately dropped his eyes from his and pushed himself up from the deck.

            "I have to get back to the helm now." The words were hurriedly spoken and the older man abruptly turned away and started to walk hastily back to the helm. Will rolled his eyes and pushed himself up from the railing and followed.

            "So you've _already_ chosen the sea and the Pearl over me." Bootstrap turned around and shook his head.

            "No, I just don't want to damage Jack's ship, Will because I do not wish to die today." He climbed the few steps and walked back over to the wheel and rested his hands on it. A low sigh fell from his exasperated expression when he heard Will doing the same.

            "Dad, you _are_ coming back with me, right?" There was no response. Will walked to the other side of the wheel and cupped his fathers' cheeks with his hands. He forced the older man to make eye contact with him. "Right?" Still no response. "Aren't you?!" Will let his eyes roam over his fathers' before pulling his hands away and releasing his face from his hold. The growing lump in his throat and the tears that were filling his eyes were making it difficult to breathe. 

            "Will… I, I mean…-" Bootstrap sighed and shook his head slowly before resting his eyes back on his son. "I can't, Will." Had the words been wind, Will would have fallen over and rolled off of the ship. 

            "You _can't_." His tone was impassive. He watched as Bootstrap slowly shook his head again and threw his arms out to his sides and laughed. "You _can't." He repeated. "You _can't _know me. You don't _want _to know me, dad, do you? I was probably nothing more than a mistake." Bootstrap narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to protest but Will held his hand up. "You lied to me, dad," he lowered the hand slowly. "You promised that you would be here if I would let you." He narrowed his eyes at the man. "I was __going to __let you, but, since you want nothing to do with me, I guess it doesn't really matter now, huh?  Jack told me that you were a good man with a good heart, clearly not even your best friend really truly knows you." Bootstrap frowned as Will turned away._

            "_Will_!" He called and reached out his hand as if trying to pull him back. Will stopped on the last step and turned around with crying eyes. Bootstrap saw the tears and his arm fell limply back to his side.

            "I'll see you in twenty years, dad." Bootstrap said nothing as Will jogged away from the helm and disappeared to somewhere on the deck. 

*** * ***

_"I'll be there **now **if you will let me. You're my son, Will, and I love you."_

Will dimly wondered if the expression "he died of a broken heart" was true.

            He had to have been dying. This kind of pain only came_ withdeath. He could feel his heart shattering into billions of jaded pieces that were stabbing at his lungs over and over and over. He couldn't breathe and he couldn't think. Everything was misty and his mind was as blank as the night sky was dark. It just hurt _so much_…_

That bloody lying bastard had chosen the sea over his son _again_.

Will was crying tears of pain _again_.

His heart was shattering _again._

Again, again, _again…-_

            "Honestly, you'd think by _now that you bloody people would __comprehend that voices _carry_." Will said nothing and Jack frowned. The pirate captain hobbled over to the railing that the blacksmith was leaning against and lightly nudged his shoulder with his arm. The lad didn't look up. "Will?" Will shook his head and Jack's face scrunched up in bewilderment. "Will, what happen-"_

            "He was back from the dead, Jack, it's like he was back from the _dead_…" Will trailed off and pressed his lips together and swallowed hard. He had shed enough tears over his father. "I had him, Jack, I _had him_… He was back from the _dead_; he was _in my __life…" Jack leaned against the railing._

            "Lad, what are you getting at?"

            "He chose _you_, Jack," Will looked over at the pirate captain. "He chose you and the sea and the Pearl and he's…" Will dropped his eyes and covered his mouth as a loud sob escaped from his throat. "He's dead to me again, Jack," the younger man's voice cracked with the emotion that was drowning his heart and leaking from his eyes. "Just when I had him, Jack, when I bloody _had him…" He shook his head as he rose his eyes back to the pirate. "He's dead to me, Jack, my father is dead." Jack frowned and turned his head when he heard rustling by his cabin. He leaned to the right and squinted as he tried to make out the object that was standing in the shadows._

Jack sighed.

Did Bootstrap really think that Jack would not notice?

            He turned back to Will. "Do you want me to talk to him, lad?" Will shook his head as another sob escaped and he covered his mouth and stared intently at the sea. "Will…-" Jack trailed off as Will shook his head, meaning that he did not want to hear whatever Jack had to say. The pirate captain sighed in frustration as he let his eyes roam over his friends shaking body. He took the few steps forward that separated the lad from him and pulled the younger man into a hug. It was an action that Captain Jack Sparrow rarely committed and Will pulled back in shock. His eyes, though, held gratitude. The blacksmith let his eyes roam over his friends' for a second longer before he turned on his heel and towards Jack's cabin where Elizabeth was. The door slammed shut and Jack sighed.

            "He barely survived you leaving him once, William." The figure did nothing. "He _won't_ survive a second time. You _know_ what you have to do," Jack looked towards the shadows, "blood is thicker than water, William, it's about time that you proved that to your son." Jack turned on his heel and started to gradually and warily make his way to the helm. 

A nonchalant life outlined with freedom.

A cold past outlined with crimson and regret.

Bootstrap rose his eyes to the horizon and sighed. 

**_To Be Continued…_**

****

**AN: I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday. Reality has been a bitch and yeah, I haven't had any time. One more chapter! I never thought that I would finish this story and here I am at the _last chapter. I'll miss this story; it's been fun to write. But anyway, as I said, chapter nineteen will be thank you's and shout out's and whatever else, and also, questions from you guys. One question that will be answered is how I found out Jack's age and I'll explain what the title of this story means. Have another question you want me to answer? Why I named a certain chapter what I named it? A question about the sequel? Anything you want to know, ask, and I shall answer them in nineteen._**

**Look for eighteen Saturday night/Sunday.**

**Thanks to everyone that has read and reviewed or just read… or skimmed… or whatever…**

**Please review on your way out! :)**


	18. Farewell

**Lord Knows I Can't Change**

**Chapter Eighteen**

_"William. You can't put it off any longer… -You have for twenty years."_

            Bootstrap had been almost grateful when the familiar shores of Port Royale gradually began to show themselves in the distance.  The entire voyage had consisted of nothing more than the mocking yesterdays and the deafening silence. He had lost battle after battle with his mind and wouldn't be surprised in the least bit if his mind's raging ego had driven him insane. 

_"I **can't **talk to him, Jack… What if I hurt him?" _

_"You're **already **hurting him by ignoring him."_

            Almost. He had _almost _been grateful. Part of him dreaded and even feared what was yet to come. He was going by nothing and trusted that nothing that what he was going to do was the right choice. There was no guiding light and, if there was, he hadn't seen it. 

_"Two years ago I asked Will if I had ever given him reason not to trust me, and I hadn't. Its two years later, and I still **haven't… I told him you were a good man, William, with a good heart… Don't make me have given Will reason to no longer trust me."**_

_"Jack told me that you were a good man with a good heart, clearly not even your best friend really truly knows you."_

Bootstrap had given his son reason to no longer trust Jack. Perhaps that was why the blacksmith had pulled away from the pirate captain's embrace and had avoided both him and Bootstrap for virtually the entire rest of the voyage. Will had stayed with Elizabeth and Elizabeth with Will. Bootstrap had stayed with Jack and Jack with Bootstrap. The tension had been so thick that at some point, whether it had occurred at night or at day or while they were alone or with the other three, each one had felt as if they were about to fall unconscious. Physically, no one had. Emotionally, each one did.

_"I don't even know why I came out here looking for you; it's obvious that you don't give a damn about me! You have Jack, the bloody ocean, and your fucking freedom, why the blazes would you want **your son**?!"_

It wasn't fair to Elizabeth, nor Jack. The governors' daughter and the pirate captain had been thrown into the middle of Bootstrap and Will's quarrel and had been held in place by the jaws of life. Bootstrap had seen how Will deliberately put on a crestfallen expression each time Elizabeth even thought about talking to him. He had heard Will and Jack's conversation and knew without a doubt that the pirate captain, as in control as he might have appeared to be, was torn between two vital people in his life. They had forced Elizabeth and Jack into the middle and both had taken the hardest of the many blows and hits. Bootstrap wasn't even entirely certain that both had regained consciousness.

_"He was back from the dead, Jack, it's like he was back from the **dead**…I had him, Jack, I **had** **him… He was back from the **dead**; he was **in** my ****life…"     **_

The blood from wounds that could not heal had been seeping from Bootstrap's veins in small painful drops as his son's broken voice told his best friend that his father had chosen Jack over him. Bootstrap had dimly wondered _why _the wounds _still bled_. Barbossa had been the reason for their continuous ache, and now that Barbossa was dead, shouldn't the blood have stopped flowing? 

_"I know that I have hurt you and I want to make up for it… I don't want you to feel pain anymore." _

_"Pain doesn't hurt when it's all you've ever felt."_

_"Pain and hurt coincide, Will. Don't you **dare sit there and tell me that you are numb to them, because you **aren't**. To feel them is a part of life, Will, it means that you are ****alive… If you don't feel them, then you are ****dead… And you don't appear dead to me."**_

_"Appearances can be deceiving. You of all people should know this."_

_"So you're dead?"_

_"You killed me."_

Dead men do not bleed, and both Bootstrap and Will had. Bootstrap through the veins and Will through the eyes. So neither could have been dead nor could they have been numb. The wounds should have been gone, though, Barbossa was dead. What was left? Why did they still bleed?

_"I'll be there **now if you will let me. You're my son, Will, and I love you." **_

Bootstrap frowned as the Pearl sailed past the three dangling pirates.

_"He barely survived you leaving him once, William; he **won't survive a second time. You ****know what you have to do. Blood is thicker than water, William, it's about time that you proved that to your son."**_

Each other. Bootstrap and Will were left.

Barbossa had not been the reason for the bleeding wounds.

Bootstrap and Will were. 

_Bootstrap _was.

            "I'll tie her up same place as last," Jack announced. "Once I find me crew, I'm out of here. Don't want the pleasure of meeting Norrington today." Elizabeth frowned and turned around to look at the pirate.

            "I hadn't even thought about that…" Her voice held uncertainty and Jack met her eyes and grinned.

            "No need to fret, love… I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."  Elizabeth smiled softly and turned away as Bootstrap rested his eyes on Will. Blood was thicker than water and his love for his son was vaster than the Caribbean Sea. Captain Jack Sparrow was right. After twenty years, it was time that Bootstrap proved this to his son, and he would. 

*** * ***

      Jack had almost immediately located Anamaria and, after hugging him for returning safely and then slapping him for leaving in the first place, she set out to

locate the rest of Jack's crew while the four people remained hidden close to the Pearl in the dense patch of trees. Within minutes, the crew was reunited with their captain and was hauling supplies and various other goods onto the Pearl as they prepared to take sail for the first time in days. 

            "You went to Commodore Norrington for help?" Jack's tone was dripping with pleasure as he grinned at the female pirate. His eyes, though, held gratitude, and Elizabeth couldn't help but wonder if the two were more than just captain and first mate. 

            Anamaria crossed her arms. "Yes, Jack, I did." She rolled her eyes and couldn't help but smile as Jack laughed and waved his hand in the air.

            "Now, love, what have I told you about _not doing __stupid things?" She shrugged and Jack laughed quietly before turning his head to peer at Gibbs when the older man shouted something or another to him._

            "We're ready to take sail, Cap'n." Jack nodded and turned his eyes back to Elizabeth, Will and Bootstrap. Anamaria remained by Jack's side as Gibbs and the remaining crew members that were still on land made their way onto the Pearl.

            "I'm not going to fall off of a ledge this time." Will and Elizabeth grinned as Bootstrap frowned in confusion.

            "You fell off of a ledge?" He looked at Jack with a raised eyebrow. "When and how?"

            "After your whelp rescued me from the gallows… I sort of _slipped off of the ledge and fell into the sea," Jack shrugged. "The Pearl came back for me, though." Bootstrap shook his head in amusement and sighed dramatically._

            "Captain Jack Sparrow, whatever am I to do with you?"

            Jack grinned. "Say goodbye so I may return to my ship." Will frowned and looked back and forth between the two older men before sighing and shaking his head. He looked at jack and wondered faintly why the man was smiling. 

            "He doesn't _need_ to say goodbye, Jack, he's coming with you, remember? I told you." Jack shook his head and Will narrowed his eyes in bewilderment and turned to look at his father.

            "_Aren't_ you?...-"

            Bootstrap smiled at his son. "You're going to let me be there, Will, why would I _not_ be? Blood is thicker than water," he glanced briefly over at Jack, "and it's about time that I show you that." Bootstrap stumbled back as Will jumped and wrapped his arms around him and held him closely in an embrace for several seconds before finally pulling away and smiling at him as an excited child would.

            "You can live with Elizabeth and me… -If that's alright with her, I mean."

            Elizabeth laughed. "Of course! That would be nice." She smiled at Bootstrap. "I mean, I owe him my life." The three turned with a start when Jack noisily cleared his throat. He rose an eyebrow at them and crossed his arms.

            "Yes, while this is all very endearing, I'd better be going because I have a feeling that Norrington will show up soon." 

            "Jack?" Jack looked at Bootstrap. "Don't wreck my ship."

            "You _gave _me her. She's _my_ ship." Bootstrap rolled his eyes and pulled the younger man into a hug. Jack pulled back a few seconds later and smiled at Elizabeth. "Don't let them drive you crazy, love." 

            Elizabeth laughed quietly. "I'll manage, Jack." Jack nodded at her and shifted his eyes to Will. 

            "You don't have a hat on." Will smirked at his friend and shook his head.

            "No, I don't. Jack? Don't wait another two years to visit, savvy?" Jack grinned and opened his mouth to respond and unexpectedly shut it as the blacksmith pulled him into a firm hug. He released the pirate and stood beside Bootstrap once more. Elizabeth got on Will's other side and Jack grinned at the three of them.

            "Ta." It was a simple farewell and with one final characteristic gold-toothed grin, Jack turned on his heel and started to hobble back to the Pearl. Anamaria caught up easily with the man and wrapped her arm around her captain and the two were soon bickering over Jack's pride and how he could not swallow it long enough to allow someone to aid him. Jack and Anamaria were both onboard a few minutes later and soon Jack was spraying commands at his crew. The sounds of stomping feet and eager shouts drowned out the silence as the Pearl's sails were hoisted and Jack contentedly took the wheel and started to lead his freedom away from Port Royale and away from the three people watching and towards that bright, shimmering line that was outlined with freedom.

Bootstrap wrapped his arm around Will and the three of them watched the Pearl sail away until she was lost amongst the sparkling clear blue water of the Caribbean.

**_The End_****… For now**

**Everybody please read the AN below!!**

**AN: Okay, well… there's the ending! I still can't believe this story is over, it seems like I just started it. Ah well, there's always sequels. Anyway, down to business…**

**Chapter Nineteen will consist of the following: Credits, thank you's, shout out's, explanations and a sneak preview into the sequel, which is called _Do I Have To Cry For You? This is your last chance to let me know of any questions that you would like to see answered in nineteen. The explanation behind the title, how I found out Jack's age, and a few other questions that readers have asked since August and chapter one will be answered. Have a question about the sequel? Ask. Have a question on why I named a certain chapter what I named it? Ask. Now is your time to ask me anything about this story or its upcoming sequel!_**

**I do not know when chapter one of _Do I Have To Cry For You?  will be up, but I'm hoping sometime this month! _**

**I want to thank every body that has read this story and stuck with it. It means a lot.**

**Okay, now, everyone, and I mean _everyone that has read this story, please review and tell me what you thought! Like favorite scenes, least favorite scenes, favorite lines, least favorite lines, favorite characters, and yada yada. Let me know if anyone was out of character so that I can correct it for the sequel._**

**Please, please, please review!!!**

**See ya'll in first in nineteen and then in _Do__ I Have To Cry For You?!_**


	19. Credits

Great movies can not be made nor written nor brought to life by one man (or woman) alone, and the same goes for great stories.

I have a list of people that have helped me in one way or another through-out the two months that it took me to write _Lord Knows I Can't Change_. 

            Back in August when I first started on _Lord Knows I Can't Change, I discovered that if I did not resolve a major plot hole from the movie that was not answered, then I would have no story because I would have no way of writing it accurately. The plot hole? William "Bootstrap Bill" Turner's death. As you all know, _Lord Knows_ basically revolves around this incident, and that, plus his past, makes up a good percentage of the story. His death did not make sense in any way, shape or form and so, before I could start on Chapter Three, I had to ask around to try to get some answers. None of the people on AIM knew a good enough explanation that I could use, and so I turned to LJ (live journal) and asked two of the seven or eight communities that I am in if they knew anything that could help me put together the pieces of this plot hole. Fortunately, I got a lot of responses and a lot of different opinions and ideas. With the help of everyone that responded, I was able to come up with a seemingly logical explanation of this piece of the story which will hopefully be answered in _Pirates of the __Caribbean___ 2. Want my explanation? I have it typed up and if you need/want it, email me and I shall gladly send it your way._

Unfortunately, one of the two communities that I asked has since gone away, and so I have no way of thanking those people that helped with Bootstrap's death. The other one, though, I do, and I would like to thank the following LJers for their help on this issue:

**Tndawicki****, Exobiologist, Summersdream, Anmorian, 10tuskid, mudgurl647, g_kills_people and myewzishun**

            Sooner or later, with any form of writing, you will come to a point where you will stare at the screen with a blank expression and think, "Okay, now what?" Or, other times, you will stare at the screen and think, "Okay… so I _know _what I want to have happen, but I don't know how to start it." And at times like these, it is best that you, first, seek others opinions about what they think should come first. Chapters in _Lord Knows_ that I had this issue with were Chapter Five, Chapter Eleven and Chapter Seventeen. I knew what I wanted to have happen, but I didn't know where to start. I would like to thank the following two people for helping me and dropping everything momentarily to share with me their opinions on what scene should come first.

**Elf-Vulcan** **and lennongurl97**

All authors want to get their facts straight and accurate. I would like to thank the following people for helping me to get _Lord Knows accurate (example, whether or not they used envelopes in the 18th century)._

**Elf-Vulcan, lennongurl97, my mom, my encyclopedia and Ilya**

Now, before I get to the main person that needs to be thanked, there are others that need to hear the word first. Back when I first started _Lord Knows_, I was guessing that maybe at least twenty five people would read it. I was wrong. Very, very wrong. 119 reviews are the most that I have ever gotten on anything that I have ever written and I've been writing for two years. Even if you skimmed or you eventually wandered off, or you read and didn't review (can't complain, I'm guilty of that) it still means a lot to me that so many people read and actually _enjoyed my work. I would like to thank the following people for reading _Lord Knows I Can't Change_ because, without you guys, there would be no story. (Everyone that reviewed Eighteen, I will respond to your reviews below)._

**Lily, Jamie, Pirate, lennongurl79, SerenityJade, SilentStep, Terriah, The Five Tailed Youko, ElvenPirate41, JadedSky1, Soul11, liquidiamond, EstelWolfe, revivingophelia, Savvylicious, shasjin-saber, Endril McMerlyn, p3charmed, doe, Sashya, Shimmergloom, nanc, Peacockgirl, AliciA, psycho maniac, twisty-treat, Captain Red Black, jackfan2, …, Tom, Leap of Fate, Serenity, Trinity Day, Becky, Lunatic, Orlifan, turner110, DayOldSushi, Yoshi-fan2003, Elf-Vulcan, Oracle, Aunna Borgonia, Miss Becky, Silybeen, EnglishMystic, anaticulapraecantrix, Steff7, Michelle, Vaughn, Fuhrer, Ferntree, Kelly and SilverButterfly**

            I would like to thank the following people for adding me to their favorite author's list (nine! Weee!).

**blackcat333-99****, Shimmergloom, lennongurl97, twisty-treat, Fuhrer, DownAssChik, Steff7, turner110 and Leap of Fate**

            And last, but certainly not least, the person who deserves the most credit- **My mom**. She helped me a hell of a lot with various different parts of this story and was always willing to give me more help if needed. She read every chapter as if she were a ff.net member and never once got tired of it. I guess you could say she's kind of a co-author. Thanks for your help, mom, I wish that I could type out how much it means with this key board, but sadly, I can not. I love you. :)

**Responses to Reviewers (only those that reviewed Eighteen): **

**anaticulapraecantrix**-******Thanks a bunch! I'm glad that you're looking forward to the sequel!**

**turner110-** lol, honestly, I don't think I can write well. In fact, I've been sitting here thinking, "Dude, why do I get the feeling that the last three chapters suck some major ass?..." I'm glad you enjoyed _Lord Knows!_

**Pirate- **Nah, I'm in love with Jack too. Sad. We're in love with a Disney character. Sigh. I'm glad you loved _Lord Knows_!

**jackfan2-****Thanks for your kind words on _Lord Knows_; it really means a lot! I will certainly let you know when the first chapter of the sequel is up!**

**Shimmergloom****- Thanks! Glad you enjoyed and liked Jack's spurts of humorous stuff! **

**Leap of Fate- **I like your name. I've been meaning to tell you that. Ah well, anyway… lol, _longer?! Hmm, well, I'll try… Can't promise much, blame school. I'm so glad that you thought everyone was in character; that was one of my major concerns, especially with Jack. Believe me; it isn't going to my head! Thanks for your kind words!_

**Explanations and Questions:**

**What is the story behind the title "_Lord Knows I Can't Change_" anyway? Back in August when I first got the idea to write a sequel to the movie, the plot was totally different. It still included Bootstrap, but it wasn't going to include him in the way that _Lord Knows _did/does. What I was originally going to do is now being carried over to _Do I Have To Cry For You?._ I changed the plot when I read somewhere that Geoffrey Rush would be one of the crew members that would be returning to work on _Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and so I thought, "Hmm, okay, I'll include Barbossa then," and so _Lord Knows_' plot changed dramatically. The title is basically about Bootstrap and Will's relationship… It can't change, "it" being the pain that their past together is lined with. It also means everyone's relationships with Barbossa. It can't change, nothing can change. Since they can't change their ways or their feelings, it's called __Lord Knows _****I Can't Change. Hope that makes sense! **

(question from a reader) **How did you find out Jack's age? Honestly, I don't even remember. I have the card that I did the math on in front of me and I've since read over it billions of times and still can't figure out how I did. All I know is that I knew he was young when he got marooned and that Will _had to be eight years old when Bootstrap sent the coin and when Jack was marooned and just went from there. I'm sorry I can't remember; just know that he was thirty two! _** (question from a reader) **How do you write so good? As I stated in my reply to your review, I don't think I can, honestly. Thanks though, your review made me smile. :) ** (question from reader) **Is this slash? No. Neither _Lord Knows I Can't Change _or _Do I Have To Cry For You? is/will be slash. _** (question from reader) **Is this a sequel to your story "_Not Much, How 'Bout You?"? Nope. Even though they are similar, they aren't connected. _**

**Want to get the full emotions of _Lord Knows? Try these songs…_**

I listened to these nearly every time that I wrote a chapter…

**Evanescence- _"My Immortal"_ ****Michelle Branch- _"All You Wanted" _****Michelle Branch- _"Goodbye To You" _****Michelle Branch- _"Are You Happy Now?"_ ****Faith****Hill- _"Cry"_ ****Faith****Hill- _"One"_ ****Faith****Hill- _"If This Is The End"_ ****Eagles- _"Desperado"_ ****Eagles- _"Lyin' Eyes"_ ****Evanescence- _"Hello"_ ****Evanescence- _"Bring Me To Life"_ **

            And, of course, every song on the _Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack._

**Brief sneak at _Do I Have To Cry For You?:_**

- It takes place three years later

- Will and Elizabeth have since gotten married and have a son named Jack William Turner (named after Jack and Bootstrap) and he's two-years-old

- Bootstrap lives with Will and Elizabeth and works with Will in the Armory

- The category's for this story will be tragedy/action/adventure

- As of now, there will be three character deaths (that number will more than likely change) and one is a major/main character

      That's about all guys! Thanks for reading and thanks for reading this! _Lord Knows I Can't Change was fun to write and I'm glad that it was fun for you guys to read. Be checking back on Chapters One-Eighteen because I will be editing (not changing phrases or words, but typos, such as commas and what not) off and on. _

See y'all in _Do I Have To Cry For You?_!!!

- Liz


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